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Newest Member: HurtCat (45338)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 1 Year and now here
hurting1600
♂ Member
Member # 36368
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My antiversery was on 6/20. I did not feel very much understanding and remorse from my wife during this period. This lacking has seriously shut me down. I find myself unwilling to make future plans or give a hoot in general. I am afraid that this crap has pushed me too far. Any advise? I really do not want a divorce but I do want to be valued and respected.


BH me 50
WE her 44
3 children
Married18 years
Hopefully moving towards R

Posts: 63 | Registered: Aug 2012
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

could I recommend joining us on on the betrayed mens forum in the I can relate Thread? from your description I do believe you would get a lot of advice


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2984 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
FieldsOfLavender
♀ Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did not feel very much understanding and remorse from my wife during this period. ... I really do not want a divorce but I do want to be valued and respected.

I am a betrayed wife, but I feel the same as you. I'd like to try to work things out but there can be no traction, if the wayward spouse has no remorse. I also want to be valued and respected, but how will that happen when there is no remorse to begin reconciliation?


Posts: 198 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
hurting1600
♂ Member
Member # 36368
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you 5454. I will try it?


BH me 50
WE her 44
3 children
Married18 years
Hopefully moving towards R

Posts: 63 | Registered: Aug 2012
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take your time. I recommend starting at the beginning of part 10.

On a practical note, start with yourself. Value and respect yourself first. You are entitled to it.

Have you looked into the 180? Keep contact with her to a minimum while you recuperate. Understand that the 180 is for you to heal, not bring her back.

More in a bit.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2984 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 5

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