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Newest Member: Tryin2staykewl (45320)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dealing with rumors
Nest2007
♀ Member
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We believe the current principal doesn't know, or the firing would have happened already. The gossips only have rumour and conjecture and circumstantial evidence. If they had anything concrete, it'd be over. Fortunately, the gossip is someone who's been known to have it wrong before and is disliked by the principal, so her being the source means he's less likely to believe anything she says. And gossips are gutless, we don't think they'd actually confront it, but rather keep their ears and lips flapping.

We are considering, seriously, a major move at the end of the year. WH would like to leave now, but job isn't vacant til January.

Thanks SIers, your candor is appreciated.

Still working on typing my post full disclosure debrief. Doing that makes it more real and takes so much time y'know? Baby duties don't allow as much time as I need...

Anyone else on Avanza? Feel like I'm living in a fog during the day until about lunch times. Great for my sleep though.


BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know anything about Avanza (sleep aid?)
Just make sure that you take good care of yourself and focus on you as this situation that you are in unfolds......Keep coming to us for support...Support and good self care will give you more strength for the days ahead..

((((hugs))))

[This message edited by doggiediva at 10:00 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)]


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1242 | Registered: Nov 2011
Dare2Trust
♀ Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nest,

I misunderstood your original post - I thought the Principal knew about the affair...
Now I understand:
The Principal only knows about the OW moving out of her home with her BS.I'm sorry is my previous post misled anyone.

I'm sincerely sorry for the continued stress you are going through.


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6133 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
Nest2007
♀ Member
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have made a point of catching up with two of the suspected gossips this week - zero indication that they know anything, no leading questions or comments etc. Am yet to have a reason to catch up with the supposed source if the gossip, as I'm not as close to her, but I suspect more and more that OW made up the rumors and their source as a way to cause more drama.


BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
Nest2007
♀ Member
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Avanza = anti-depressant/anti-anxiety drug. Also makes me very drowsy at night, but lethargic and unmotivated during the first half of the day...


BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
Dare2Trust
♀ Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 2:22 AM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally Nest - I'd stay far, far away from the members of the Rumor Mill; and try to concentrate on my marriage and family...and how you and your WH are going to move forward towards reconciliation.

As others have posted: You are facing a long, difficult road to healing - as long as your WH and OW are working together. An ESPECIALLY long difficult road - if your suspicions are correct: And OW is the person fueling these rumors.
If the rumors continue and escalate - you may find yourself with an unemployed husband!

I sincerely hope this affair has ended, and that it hasn't gone under-ground.


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6133 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
Nest2007
♀ Member
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it ok to post WH's full disclosure here or is that not advised? I feel like every time I try to paraphrase his words, our conversations, people jump to the wrong conclusions and hearing it 'from the horse's mouth' might make that easier?

Advice?


BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
Blobette
♀ Member
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As long as there's no identifying info, I don't see why not. I've seen people post entire email/text exchanges, can't imagine why that would be different.

Checked in to see how you're doing. Hope you're holding up. Strength to you.


BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1060 | Registered: Aug 2012
Jospehine85
♀ Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make sure you state what kind of advice or comments you are looking for when you post it.

Also, if your WH or OW turns out to be a few cards shy of a full deck and stalks you on SI, would you regret posting it?

Maybe PM it to a few people whose advice you like.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 893 | Registered: Jun 2012
Nest2007
♀ Member
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have PMed full disclosure to someone.

Tbh, I feel like packing up my husband and daughter, moving away and living in a protective cocoon where all we worry about is recovering and spending time together, and not having to worry about what crazy stunt ow will pull next, or how to act 'normal' in front of close friends and family. Not having to lie anymore. Lie by omission - I'm fine, life's great yada ya...


BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWIW, we actually did move about 2 years after Dday and it really did help me.

I get that you're invested in the school because you built it, but you don't work there anymore.

For now your husband is your adversary. Obviously he can't pay you child support if he's unemployed but he's employable so he can get a different job and live in some crap apartment for all you care as long as that check shows up.

He won't change (if he changes at all) until you're mad enough to point that out. Don't do his damage control for him. Are you supposed to spin yourself?

I'm sorry your husband has shown himself to have such poor character and callous disregard for you and your child. It really hurts bad, I do know. Please first and foremost take care of YOURSELF physically and enjoy the baby!


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
Topic Posts: 51
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