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Newest Member: Chivalrous (45316)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Saw the OW for the first time today...
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fortunately, I only passed her in the car, but it was definitely a shock.

Send me some mojo if you could. She's moved into my town and is marrying XWH this weekend. I've had this hanging over my head for some time now, and it's finally here. I can't believe that XWH is stupid enough to marry a woman he met on Ashley Madison. I honestly thought that he'd come to his senses, even if it were just to slow things down, maybe have her move here but get her own apartment for a while before they did anything legal and binding.

I'm glad that I got my kids and myself into counseling. I think we're really going to need it.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You will need counseling and such, so good thing you've already started.

It IS a shock when the WS ends up with OP. It's hurtful, bullshit and makes you see red...but outside of what seems ridiculous to us, it's what works for them, be it short or long term. When they're at that point - we're so far off the radar, all we can do it take care of ourselves and the kids.

Hopefully she'll be nice to kids and there won't be a lot of drama there. I don't have that and as much as it kills me that OW is now the kids' stepmom, at least she's decent to them.

Good luck! You seems to have a good head on your shoulders. Cry and vent to us. Be there for the kids. It's a crap road, but we all do make it, ya know?



Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

Posts: 499 | Registered: Jun 2012
FieldsOfLavender
♀ Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! What are the chances of seeing OW drive by? I saw OW at a restaurant near my old workplace. She worked a few blocks from me.

Getting yourself and children into counseling is a good start to healing. I have started counseling and will soon take my daughter.


Posts: 198 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Rainbows
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 2:01 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They clearly haven't figured out if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you, yet.

Hold your head high and be strong.

One thing that might help is to be mentally prepared in case you run into her again. Have an idea of what, if anything, you'll say. Visualize your calm, strong body language.

Athletes visualize plays all the time before games. Run a few different scenarios in your mind's eye until you find the right one. Rehearse it. That way you can go on auto pilot regardless of when it happens.

Sending you lots of hugs and light.

[This message edited by Rainbows at 2:05 AM, July 4th (Thursday)]


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That just sucks.

Keep moving forward. I'm glad that you are in IC, it's good to have a place where you can let all the crap out.

They are in full force la-la land right now. Poor kids.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HAHA
Ashley Madison
That marriage is so full of future fail!

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, everyone. XWH truly is in la-la land. It's hard to blend a family under the best and most honest circumstances. Given his situation? Ugh. I just don't see this ending well, and my kids will have to suffer all over again.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
scared&stronger
♀ Member
Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry


WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.


Posts: 3974 | Registered: Aug 2007
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trying,
Through you and counseling, your kids will learn how to deal with this. Think of it this way: they are learning what NOT to do in life by example of their father.

The nice thing about your WS (now XWS) moving on with the OP is that usually all the drama and all of the ugliness moves right along with them.

Your life will settle back into a more calm sense of "normal."

And remember; the majority of people are usually the "quiet majority." They are not out front voicing their opinion about this situation.

Believe it or not, you are the lucky one in this scenario. Hang in there. It gets better.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 9:36 PM, July 4th (Thursday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
thenon-goddess
♀ Member
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((TA))))

On the bright side - you get a front row seat for karma bus showing. And you can bet that relationship is going up in flames. Sounds like they deserve each other.

-more hugs (((((TA)))))


Status: divorcing - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Posts: 1249 | Registered: Feb 2011
Topic Posts: 11

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