For some, infidelity truly is a dealbreaker.... it just takes some a very long time to figure that out.
Hugs to you.
If your WH is doing all the right things then it's up to you take a deep breath and accept it...scary as it may be to let down your guard.
I'm struggling with this too, so I understand the fear.
There are no guarantees in life....FOR ANYONE.
This isn't profound advice..but it's all I got at the moment.
PA that lasted approx. 2 weeks. OW was a younger but totally screwed up %#@%!
I am trying to live in the moment and trust my FWH, who continues to do everything right.
I, also, now know how he acted during the affair, and if I ever saw that type of behavior again, I would know. During his affair, I was naive and unexperienced about infidelity. I now consider myself an expert, and that helps to make me feel safe.
Hugs to all that suffer, it will get better.