Are you renting or do you own the home?
If renting I don't understand why you want to move back in.
I echo the others. I own the marriage problems 50% PRIOR to his betrayals. Who the hell knows at what point he actually started to cheat. I suspect it was within the first 5 years because that is when things started to change.
When things changed instead of complaining about them I worked on being MORE understanding, MORE tolerant, MORE forgiving. LESS me.
In False R I told him I thought that his crazy working hours attributed to the distance that grew between us. I did complain about this - I shouted, cried, begged, went silent... I tried everything to get him to plug back into our life. Instead he chose to work 24/7 then go out drinking on the only 5 afternoons he left work early during my eldest childs first 6m of life.
He told me he thought I was "cool with it" because I didn't put my foot down.
I told him he seemed to live by the adage that "forgiveness is easier to get than permission". He just did whatever the fuck he wanted - it didn't matter what it was doing to me, our M or our family.
Far better wives than me have still been cheated on. There is NOTHING you can do to STOP him cheating so it follows there is NOTHING you can do to MAKE him cheat.
Am I right that he has cheated in the first 2 years of your M?
In all honesty given there are no kids involved I'd cut and run - like yesterday. You could easily dodge a bullet here.
Of course *I* didn't cut and run before kids even though he cheated on me 6 weeks into our relationship, even though he was on that slippery slope for most of our relationship. I now see that he lives on that slippery slope. He was on it well before I came into the picture. I saw it but refused to 'see' it, IYKWIM. I was so focussed on being flexible and understanding that he saw it as permission to keep doing what he was doing.
As Dr Phil says: you teach people how to treat you. I taught him that this shit was OK.
I thought his love for me would stop him betraying me. I thought my love for him would stop him getting on that slippery slope.
The thing is he lives on that slippery slope.
IMO the only mistake you are making is that you are seeing things as you want them to be, not as they really are.
I made that mistake too - for almost a decade. I waited until after we had children before finally reaching my breaking point.
Please, step back and have a good look at this man, a good look at this M. Is there anything he could have done to make you cheat?
I don't see any remorse there so I don't see that you have an M to fight for.
ETA I posted this final S email exchange recently. Please look at how pretty his words were - then read in my words for how ugly his actions were.