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User Topic: Raise your hand if you FB stalk OW
gettingthere2013
♀ Member
Member # 38232
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That would be me. Not as often as I used to,but WH is out with a friend tonight(most definitely a friend of our marriage...he ripped WH a new one over his A and holds him accountable,so no worries there). What do I do? Yep. FB stalk OW. She got married last month...there were pictures on FB of her,the new H,and their new blended family. No,he doesn't know-I never told him,don't plan on it,but that's another post

I have to rant and be bitchy and catty here,because there's nowhere else I can let it out. She's ugly. Ugly. and the complete and utter opposite of me. Short light hair,tall,a bigger girl(not fat,though). No one anyone would look twice at. Tooting my own horn here,but heads still turn when I walk in a room. Did he do it on purpose,choose someone my complete opposite? Was it easier to cheat with someone who didn't remind him of me? Did he need to try something else? Progress,though,because the one question I am not asking myself is whether or not there was something wrong with me.

Knowing she got married has me doubting WH's account of their "relationship"...she posted on FB that she met the guy who is now her husband around the same time she stopped sleeping with WH. He said he ended it,she said it was a mutual decision. WH and I are solidly in R,and making progress. I'm healing,and he's doing whatever he can,whenever he can, to help. I have zero doubts that it's over,so I'm trying to self talk my way through those doubts. FB is the freaking devil.


Me:BW(42)
Him:WH(40)
Kids: Seven...yes,you read that right,and yes-we do know what causes them :)
Dday#1 1/29/2013(ONS with coworker)
Dday#2 4/8/2013(6 month LD PA with coworker,over for six months at time of discovery)
Heading for S.

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: South
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i do. and her bf. they just moved in together around dday.

I haven't told her bf yet so I stalk. I told the husband if she gets engaged or he gets a new job I'm telling.

I went for like 4 days without checking her out and then the husband got invited to hang out with work friends. She was invited so he didn't go.

I hate her so much.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 360 | Registered: May 2013
sad12008
♀ Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't now, but I can empathize with the slightly obsessive level of attention to the OW at an analogous time in my journey through infidelity. I think for me it was trying to put together all the pieces, trying to make it make sense. Eventually, it all became inconsequential. Hope you get there soon, too.


"Everybody's life is hard. You look at life, and it's not a cakewalk. You've got to be able to bounce back." --Neil Young, father to two children with CP, another with epilepsy, and otherwise experientially qualified to comment

Posts: 3853 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Stillhurting1977
♀ Member
Member # 37247
Default  Posted: 1:36 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hahaha, I probably would but she blocked me. Bitch. What did I ever do to her? Besides marry the man she fell in love with, lol


D day Sept 2011
D Day # 2 March 15, 2013 (he never stopped the first affair, it went underground)
Me BW 36
Him WH 37
One little guy: 26 months
Status: Seperated, Divorcing

" Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Ro


Posts: 159 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Canada
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 2:07 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I used to but its.private now I do see pix every once in a while, her DD is followed by mine on instagram.
I store her pics in my phone and put mustaches on her face...yea I'm easily amused.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 2:08 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4710 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Alex CR
♀ Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Occasionally I look. Didn't find OW's facebook until a couple years after DDay so I didn't even know what she looked like for a long time. But I don't look much now. It's always photos of her at another bar with another drink and it's kinda' boring to look at a 50 year old barfly.

I store her pics in my phone and put mustaches on her face...yea I'm easily amused.

This though, made me snort my coffee.....thanks for the great laugh to start the day!


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1635 | Registered: Mar 2010
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope, we blocked her and the alter egos she used to keep sending us messages.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
Mack9512
♀ Member
Member # 38619
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I check her out occasionally. I have noticed that every time she peeks at my fWH's LinkedIn page she changes her picture on FB to one with full face of makeup and whatnot. Too bad my fWH closed down his FB page so that she couldn't contact him that way (like others posted she tried using a fake account to break NC.) He will never see her glamour "I'm a cheatin' whore" shots.


"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 374 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't. Looking at those pictures = one-way ticket on the express train to crazy town to me. Every time I give into the urge to look, I regret it immensely.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6537 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
shatteredheart7
♀ Member
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After I finally tracked down her FB, she used a combination of her 11 yr old daughters name and her name, I would check it once a day. But she never puts any pics of herself on it, only NASCAR pics, and she only has 10 friends. Three of those are her grown kids. She is boring to watch. I sent her a message on FB and she blocked me. Every once in a while I check her kids FB on the FB that my FWH and I share now (she doesn't know about it so we aren't blocked on it). There are NO pics of her on any of them. Even pics of their hs graduation, are all of their dad and step mom. Same with her daughters son, no pics of her with him but plenty with all his other grandparents. I have decided she isn't worth it, seems her kids would agree. One of her daughters posted this... "I'm back and better than ever, I know I am better than my mother"


Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did for a while but I blocked her. It was really freeing.


Me: BS 46
Him: LCB--lying, cheating bastard 50
D-Day 4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 527 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I used to - two of them. One changed her profile to private and since she lives across the country, we don't have any mutual friends. The other one blocked me in a fit of fury when I commented on her 'poor me' posts with statements that she brought it on herself. We do have mutual friends and one lets me know when she does something particularly entertaining (she was always that person you kept on fb just to laugh at her drama). I still check up on one. I've known her since jr high and she is 7 kids of crazy and a compulsive liar. While she was sleeping with my current husband, she was also having a fling with my ex husband (sick, right). Anyway. I just like to see the tone of her posts so I can be on higher alert when she's 'broken hearted' or reminiscing about 'the one who got away'.

Posts: 991 | Registered: Jan 2013
MartlArts
♀ Member
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have, now it's only occasional. FB was the means she used to reconnect with my H ~ an old HS flame. Her FB use dropped dramatically once he dropped her. She quit playing the game they had shared ~ even though she had plenty of other fellow players left.

Her occasional posts are typically boring ~ as is her life, which is why she went looking for online romance, I suppose.


excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 980 | Registered: Jul 2012
dameia
♀ Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I check out her page every once in a while. Also, I track her on pinterest.

After I contacted her through fb to get the details on the A, she changed her name on fb, opened a new account, etc. My assumption is she did it so I couldn't track her. Little does she know I know ALL her aliases (we're up to 4), her place of employment, home address, cell phone number, relatives on fb....I even know how much she paid for her house!

She considers herself a "computer nerd" but for someone who claims to be so techie, she is amazingly unsecured on the web.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1099 | Registered: Jul 2012
GonnaGetThru
♀ New Member
Member # 38817
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, I used to be obsessed with watching both OW. I finally blocked them, and my stupid wannabe OW cousin. Both OW friended a bunch of FWH's friends/family (most didn't know the situation) for "sympathy." I quickly got sick of seeing the crap on my newsfeed so BLOCK! Felt good to let go, honestly.


BW (me): 29
WH (him): 29
2 amazing daughters 3 & 6

Taking R one day at a time

"Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth."


Posts: 6 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: NC
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very rarely, but I did today. I heard they were moving and wondered if I could find out where. Don't know, but people were commenting "out there" and her sister in law was writing "it won't be the same" so I'm assuming it's nice and far away.

It doesn't really make a difference at this point though. I have no idea whether or not they really went NC. (I'm starting to suspect not as WH has been really down lately ... hmmn)


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. I blocked her. When I found she was stalking me on SI, I had my kids block her on FB, too---using every email address WS was willing to offer up.

I am not sure she's unable to stalk me, but don't really care any more. Conversely, I have no interest in her pathetic lie of a life. I've had enough pain; I don't need to harvest more.

Incidentally, I also have blocked WH on FB. I have no idea whether he's still in touch with her, but that's where they discovered they were star-crossed lovers, and I have no interest in seeing anything from her on his wall.

Or--even more--anything from him.

Blocking is tremendously freeing.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8322 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, raising my hand. Although, I wouldn't say stalk. I didn't know it had a FB page for a long time. Then, I found it. I visited its page once in awhile 'cause OW was so pathetic and stupid, always acting the victim, it was actually amusing to me and I didn't trigger.

Now, OW deleted its page. No more laughs at OW's expense. It doesn't bother me at all that it deleted its page. Actually, I hope it deleted its page because it couldn't stop looking at my happy FB page. OW blocked and unblocked me many times.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9404 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
crestfallen
♀ Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blocked her when she friended the daughter of my friend with whom she would have had no reason to contact...(like an ex coworkers daughter...like 9 years ex)....long story, but she clearly was trying to see what's going on on this end!

Before that...absolutely! I used to post happy pictures of hubby and I all the time!!!


BS-me-57
WH-57
Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Mar 2010
crestfallen
♀ Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blocked her when she friended the daughter of my friend with whom she would have had no reason to contact...(like an ex coworkers daughter...like 9 years ex)....long story, but she clearly was trying to see what's going on on this end!

Before that...absolutely! I used to post happy pictures of hubby and I all the time!!!


BS-me-57
WH-57
Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Mar 2010
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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