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Newest Member: Loriann (44709)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It gets better and better (not sarcasm)
I think I can
♀ Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Almost six years out...and all the work is paying off.

We say here sometimes that the WS needs to learn to give more--it's not that they aren't getting enough, it's that they aren't giving enough. And Lord knows I hate to need someone. He has learned the joy of giving and I have learned how to lean on him.

A few days ago, I thought I had screwed up royally, costing us $50K. (A long story, not worth repeating, it all turned out fine. Why do all these mistaken bills arrive on a weekend? )

Used to, I would have handled it myself until I had to tell him. But I realized that I needed him. I poured out my fears and he......supported me.

He said it was an honest mistake, that the important thing was that we loved each other and that everyone was healthy. That if my fears were true we would handle it. And when I continued to freak out, he had patience.

I love him, I trust him, I lean on him. He is a rock for me. More than he ever was before. In the past, he would blame me.

It's a lot of sweat and tears and agony for YEARS and he was not a model WS, but I don't regret reconciling.

[This message edited by I think I can at 10:46 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8810 | Registered: Jan 2008
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:47 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautiful post!

Thanks for sharing this .


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37295 | Registered: Sep 2007
healingk
♀ Member
Member # 28889
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great place to be! Good for you and WS.


Ws 59
Bs me--57
Married 39 years
D Day 11/30/08
Just trying to feel normal.It is getting there, but very slow.

Posts: 178 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Tennessee
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the past I did not believe that people could really change but I too am witnessing big changes ~ My WH claims that those that really want to change can change. It appears that yours really wanted to as well.

I am happy for you...also happy that you aren't out 50K


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2109 | Registered: Nov 2011
OptimisticWife
♀ Member
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very happy for you. Thanks for posting

Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
SorrowBhindSmile
♀ Member
Member # 38139
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I poured out my fears and he......supported me. In the past, he would blame me.

Thats simply amazing!! working together to achieve that is so inspiring. What a great post!!!!!


Me: BW
Him: WH
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Married 20+
Kids: 3
D-Day 12/2012
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2013
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5638 | Registered: Aug 2007
DriveMeCrazy
♀ New Member
Member # 39767
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So happy to see this! I am new in r after dday 5 months ago. My h is trying very hard, and I love to see stories where it pays off.


I am the BS, his LTA lasted almost 5 years. Ended immediately on dday. In reconciliation.

Posts: 25 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: DriveMeCrazy
hurt101
♀ Member
Member # 36409
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This gives me hope


Me BS (35)
Him WH (38)
2 Children - 9 & 1 years
DDay #1 Sept 2011
DDay #2 Nov 2011
In R

I feel angry but not homocidal; this may be progress.


Posts: 51 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 9

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