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Newest Member: Unrepairable (44283)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Oh the inlaw issue ;(
whyreally
Member
Member # 33292
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate it... Wh and I live seperately.. I know it's odd.. I know we are not divorced... I know we are still married but live seperately... We will have a month that is awesome... And then three that suck.. Because we don't live together my kiddos and I are off the emotional roller coaster... This works for us! Sometimes it causes me hurt.. I don't need 2x4's... My wh has not taken my kiddos EvER in the last two years... I did not have my kiddos to not have them for. A month out of the summer and every other weekend... So for the time being this works....
So the issue... We go on vacation and my mil and fil treat me great... I have a sil who treats my kiddos like crap... What did my kids do to deserve this?! She also goes out o her way to treat me like crap... So all of my bil and sil decide to go on a day trip leaving mil in charge of the kids... My mil asks me if I want to go... (Wh working) I'm no but thanks for thinking of me... My one bil that I like asks me if I want to go... I decline stating that I don't want to leave mil and fil with that many young kids... But Dang it hurts to be excluded.. They have talked about his day trip for the last week and no one invited me... I know my wh and I live seperately but we raise our kids together... Go in vacations together and I am comfortable staying with his whole extended family for two weeks with wh only being there two days... Then this... This sucks... I have been a part of the family for 14 years and to be left out sucks... Sorry for the rambling ;( already crying don't need any 2x4's... Single handily raisin five young kids and working full time is hard enough

[This message edited by whyreally at 10:46 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]


ME 30
WH 31
5 young kid

been together 13 years.
Dday: 2 many 2 count
Needing the support to go through with the divorce that I need to have


Posts: 162 | Registered: Sep 2011
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((whyreally)))))

Im sorry you feel left out. Im sorry your SIL is a bitch. Have you talked with your WH about the way she treats you and the kids? What does he say about it? Does he intend to *do* anything about it?

[This message edited by confused615 at 12:08 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7140 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hugs to you!! i know you are going through a lot. but i wanted to commend you for keeping it all together...you are doing great taking care of your family, and doing what is best for your children.

in laws can be so foul, cant they? not very nice that they left you out. but since they did, and your husband is not there...maybe you can do something fun just with the kids?

unfortunately what happens a lot of the times with inlaws is that they will side with their blood. since you and your husband dont live together, or things might be "up in the air", they may not include you in things that they normally would have. sucks i know...but it is true...even with the kids. and it really is up to your husband to set that expectation with his family. you know what mean?

you know what i would do if i were you? i'd say fuck it. i would take my kids and have a good time with them...and focus on our little family...and my own personal extended family. you might have relationships with his family, and that is good, but they have shown that they will leave you out. so, to protect my feelings and my kids, i would just keep my distance...and do my own thing with my own kids. nc means no new hurts, you know what i am saying? it will always be ugly when you are separated from your husband...it just will. if you and your h decide to reconcile, live together again, then i am sure things will be different.

but for now, take your babies and do your own thing. forget about his family for now. you see?


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 916 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
whyreally
Member
Member # 33292
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for your replies.. It has been forever since I have cried about anything... I allowed myself 15 to cry about it and then I let it go... It just hurts and makes me angry! The kids and I did have a wonderful day and I left tonight so I don't have to see them all tomorrow! My wh has been wonderful this last week and he said he will call all of his family right now and talk to them... I was very thankful for that but I don't want to give them the pleasure of knowin how much it hurt that they left me out... I just asked that he makes sure that it doesn't happen in front of him... I really do appreciate your replies...


ME 30
WH 31
5 young kid

been together 13 years.
Dday: 2 many 2 count
Needing the support to go through with the divorce that I need to have


Posts: 162 | Registered: Sep 2011
guarded
♀ Member
Member # 25364
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your MIL and BIL both invited you to go. You declined. You weren't left out. Am I missing something I should see?


In R? But how do you know it isn't another pack of lies?

Posts: 450 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: NY
whyreally
Member
Member # 33292
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mil was not going... It was more of a... You can go with them if you wanted to... At that point my one bil did inquire if I wanted to go... I was referring to how my kiddos and I are treated by certain in laws... Not all of them


ME 30
WH 31
5 young kid

been together 13 years.
Dday: 2 many 2 count
Needing the support to go through with the divorce that I need to have


Posts: 162 | Registered: Sep 2011
kiki1
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((whyreally)))

I understand. my il's have not spoken to me since dday.

Though i'm glad they are no longer in my life, i was still rejected by them as well and it hurts.

I thought i had some semblance of an extended family. It came as quite a shock.

dont bother with them unless you absolutely have to. it will hurt less.


Posts: 508 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
Topic Posts: 7

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