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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: why do people do this? (o.l.d. related)
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, a guy "liked" my picture. I got the email this morning. quickly glanced at his profile and thought ok, I'll stcik my neck out and say hello.

Cant access Match from work, so I sit down tonight, log on, and his profile is unavailable. Cold feet? Drunken regret? Found his soulmate?
I don't get it.

I think I'm ditching Match and going to P.O.N. with OIAL.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2572 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, I am laughing. PON.

I don't have an answer to your question though. I have seen it happen. I usually assume it was someone "window shopping" that probably shouldn't be, whether because they aren't single or aren't ready. They got cold feet, or came to their senses or fear being discovered and so they disappear. But that is my theory only.

PON...


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5618 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think your theory is probably bang on. His username kinda sorta indicated he was recently jilted. At least in hindsight it does.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2572 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually, that's one of the tactics used by Match to entice people to sign up and/or remain on the site. I believe they were accused of fraud because of it and even had a lawsuit or two against them for it.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13650 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It happens to me a lot.

I'm assuming it is guys getting their jollies, probably married or attached. One of the reasons I do not have a "clear" photo of myself on Match.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4055 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's awesome over here on PON, nutmeg! Come join the masses

There was weird crap on match for me as well, though of a different sort. I'd get all these messages from 29 year old girls (always 29, for some reason). They all looked like glamour shots from some fashion magazine.

I figured it was a scam to somehow rid me of my money, you know, one of those "Help, I'm stranded! Would you wire money please!" kind of things.

I never tested my theory, but I'm certain a *lot* of scammers troll around on match. Navigating that dating site is like walking through Central Park at night in the 80's.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now you have my curiosity, what is pon?


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 674 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now you have my curiosity, what is pon?

It's OIAL's new OLD site "plenty of neurotics". It not only provides dates, but also gives you the opportunity to crowdsource analyze your dates on SI


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3003 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow, a scam? Sheesh, that's pretty crappy. Bait and switch!

too bad, cause this guy actually had a profile that interested me.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2572 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've noticed this too...I figure that most of those "profile no longer active" ones are scammers who got caught. If a profile looks "too good to be true" I usually wait a day or two to see if the profile is still active. If it gets deleted within a few days, it probably is a scam "artiste"! Just like the ones who say in the first email, "I'm rarely on this site, contact me at my email address". Bastards!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3019 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
timeforchange
♀ Member
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I met my SO on Match here in Germany. He told me that he had lots of messages from prostitutes clearly scouting for business!!!!

He just ignored them. I must be naive as I was really shocked that Match was being used for "professional uses"!!!!

[This message edited by timeforchange at 2:34 PM, July 12th (Friday)]


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
Topic Posts: 11

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