In my case, my STBXH relocated to another state before the wedding and now consequent divorce. So it is in my favor as he doesn't even live in this state and currently travels here only once a month for four days to see his son. I will find out with the divorce decree if my request to relocate will be honored based on the fact that my STBXH doesn't even live here.
I would check the laws in your state so you get a better idea of what may apply to you.
[This message edited by movingforward13 at 11:39 AM, July 12th (Friday)]
"They cling to their bad choices out of shame, because it is far easier to continue to destroy yourself than to do the heavy work required to fix yourself." - a wiser SIer
We had moved there for his job and lived there for 5 years before the D. I had no extended family nor did he.
I asked my lawyer and she told me we will put it in the divorce decree so he couldn't come back with kidnapping charges. I asked him first about it and he understood and said ok. My XH travels about 60-70% of the time for work going out of the country mostly.
I D'ed in Illinois which is a fault state, but I filed no fault because it was faster and less $. I moved to WA state back by my family.
I worked with WS to move about 1.5 hours away. At the time, he agreed to move closer to me (and the kids), but...of course...he hasn't. No biggie, I'm used to being a full time single Mom now. He sees them e/o weekend. He traveled about 50% of the time.
I wanted to move to the same town as my mom, which would have been 3.5 hours away, and EX refused. So we compromised on 1.5 hours away. I am now in the middle between ex and my mother.
If you are still in the negotiation stage, then make relocation part of the negotiation process. If you can't afford to live where you are, then you need to negotiate more spousal support (or other financial support) or convince him it is in the best interest for all of you to relocate to a more affordable area.
Moving can be done, but be sure to cross all Ts and dot all Is, because you don't want to move and THEN have a battle and have to move back.
I was really spending most of my time initially at my parents - 5 hours away. Still no fuss from him. (I was not working at the time, so moving between my families homes was easy).
All the while he was lying about where he lived. His parents own a home closer to where my place was and claimed he lived there. He really lived 3 hours away with OW.
I just recently moved closer to where he really lives for work. I was petrified he'd want more visitation time, but so far I worried needlessly.
My point is it can be done. It will just depend on your ex and I would recommend you seek advice from a relocation expert atty.