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Newest Member: LostinBluseas (45054)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
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confused4323
♀ New Member
Member # 39818
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been reading on here for awhile now and decided to join. My story is pretty much as typical as everyone else. We have been together for 15 years and have two teenage daughters. We begin having problems at the beginning of last summer and by October he started and emotional affair. After two weeks of texting I discovered it and he promised it would stop. Of course it never did. I found out about a week later that she actually worked with him and at the time I thought it was still going to be o.k. At this point this is when they started meeting. During all this I was trying very hard to make it work, but did not know that they were still seeing each other. Also, during this time he was being very mean to me and treating me very badly. By December I finally had enough and tried to kick him out. This is when he sort of opened his eyes he immediately quit his job and has been somewhat trying to make it up to me. Fast forward to January and this is when more truth came out about the fact that he had actually sleep with her.

I have been trying really hard to reconcile, but some days I just don't know if I can. There was so much hurt during all this and that is the hardest to forgive. I still feel like there is way more to the story than he will ever be willing to give me. For instance he says he didn't feel anything for her, but they only slept together twice so it was mostly an EA. He says that since he finally told me that they slept together that is as bad as it gets and there is nothing else to tell. I just feel that the EA hurt more than the PA and I just can't get him to understand that.

I guess what I am asking is whether or not you ever get the full truth? If you didn't how were you able to move on? I really don't know if I don't have absolutely everything I am looking for I won't be able to move past the point I am at.


Posts: 9 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: East Coast
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to SI, confused4323.
Fast forward to January and this is when more truth came out about the fact that he had actually sleep with her.

So, you know your WH had an EA turned PA.

What additional truth/facts to you need to R?

Has your WH agreed to write a timeline detailing his A?

I am asking is whether or not you ever get the full truth?

I'm afraid the truth is a slippery reality that changes with intent. Is your WH NC with the OW?



"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
Itsgoingtobeok
♂ Member
Member # 37664
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you are here but we are all here together . I set up boundaryies and NC for my WS along with going to MC . To this day I still strugle with the notion I have not gotten all the facts and details . Don't stop untill you get what you need to know


BS-(52)
WS-49
married 28 yrs
Kid's -2
A- several
DD- 12-10-12
Starting recovery

"I don't understand the world today I don't understand what she needs I gave her everything she threw it all away" tom petty


Posts: 216 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Los Angeles
confused4323
♀ New Member
Member # 39818
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am positive he has had NC since December. I am not sure what details I wanting. In my opinion the more I know the less secrets they have together. I really want to know how he felt about her and about me during all this. Will it hurt to hear? Yes. Do I still want to know? Yes. Until I have those answers I don't know if I can move forward from here.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: East Coast
confused4323
♀ New Member
Member # 39818
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, about the timeline. I really pretty much know it because I was aware of everything going on during except the fact that they slept together. Does a timeline also include little details and feelings?

Posts: 9 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: East Coast
torn2pieces
♀ New Member
Member # 39029
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, July 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I feel like I did not ask enough but at the sametime couldn't deal. I don't have the small details and I think that's for the best. I already struggle with what I know so I probably would never recover or be able to reunify. I think we all are differant in this area. I wish u the best .

Posts: 42 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: torn2pieces
Topic Posts: 6

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