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User Topic: Sister drama
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

I agree with Jrazz's last post. She's using your niece as a way to keep you on the hook. As painful as it is, you need to stand firm and let her know that she can't do this.

Also, your sister has basically "kidnapped" you twice (ie wont let you leave a car/block your vehicle so you cant leave).
If you're ever in that position again, calmly tell her that unless she moves out of your way/stops the car, etc, your next phone call will be to the police. Then do it.
She can only get away with this if you do nothing.

((( Bluelady )))

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 10:32 AM, July 16th (Tuesday)]


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6367 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gaby is right... I think the legal term would be False Imprisonment.

She can not legally impede you from leaving the area...


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24451 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the legal term would be False Imprisonment
That's the term I couldn't call to mind when I posted.

Thanks!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6367 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
bluelady
♀ Member
Member # 11061
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The more I've had time to think about this, the more I'm beginning to understand it and I think this reaches much further than an overly blown out of proportion fight.

Growing up, I was the oldest child of two youngest children. I am a very quiet, shy person who has always had issues standing up for myself. My sister was born with all the confidence in the world.

My sister would often get her own way, because she learned early how to manipulate. She learned that if she cried harder/longer/louder my parents would eventually give in. That extended to me. She wanted to play and I didn't? She would cry and my parents would force me to play with her.

My grandmother told me that she was down visiting one weekend and I was outside playing with a friend. In runs my sister and tells my mom to send my friend home so I would play with her. My grandmother apparently threatened my mom within an inch of her life to not send my friend home.

My aunt tells another story about how she was watching us one day and my sister wanted to play and I was reading. I told her I would play with her when I was done. Sister pitched a fit and my aunt told her to suck it up. The fit continued and my mom called in the middle of it. She asked my aunt what the issue was and when aunt told mom that sister was upset because she wanted to play and I said no, mom's response was to tell aunt to tell me to play with sister.

My other aunt, my father's oldest sibling, once went head to head with my dad over the car and curfew. A stipulation for me to get my licence was that I would drive my sister where she needed to go. Often my sister would take advantage of this. Even without her influence, I was always home well before curfew because sister had an earlier curfew than me and by the time I got her home, going back out was not worth it - I would just get to my destination and have to turn around and come home to make my own curfew. My aunt was so upset and found it so unfair that she lent me her car for the weekend and forbade me from driving sister.

So, the moral of the story? My parents ill prepared me for standing up to her. I have NO idea how to do that. And she was raised to believe that she has the right to whatever she wants. With that in mind, once I get home, I'll be looking in to some counselling to help me develop tools in which to deal with her.


Me (BS): 33

Divorced


Posts: 1437 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: a little bit of everywhere
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jeez... Dysfunctional much?

I'm sorry that your parents didn't understand boundaries and individual needs of their children.

But... gentle 2x4 here... you are an accomplished adult and a survivor of Infidelity... I think you can do this. Even if you have to NC and 180 some family members for a while.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

(((Bluelady)))


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24451 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What. A. Bitch.

As a mother who went most of her life not wanting to be a parent (until a few years before having my own DD), I really don't know where people like this get off.

She's a mother. Not a martyr. She needs to get over it. Yeah, it's hard. You have to sacrifice a lot, and be selfless much of the time, but no one births children for selfless reasons. She had a child because she wanted to.

She needs to stop acting like such an asshole. PERIOD.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
7 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 2232 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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