I'm sorry you had to find us but glad you did. You might be hurting and confused but you are not alone. We have all been in your shoes. You are among friends here and this is a great place for support and advice.
Take care of yourself right now, eat when you can, drinks lots of water and find someone close you can confide in and trust.
You can start with the Healing Library, upper left, yellow box. There's great reading there.
You will survive this and you will be ok but it's going to take time and effort from both of you. If he is remorseful, open and honest then you have a starting point. Document everything and don't reveal your sources of information to him. It might be over but you will want the details and to know that he is no longer in contact with her. March was only 4 months ago so make sure he sends her a NC letter or makes a call in your presence.
Keep reading and posting. Weekends can be slow but there is always someone here to listen and respond.
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)
Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!
My only advice is to take care of you (stay hydrated, eat well, try to sleep) and go slowly. You don't have to make any decisions right now. Keep coming back and post often. The people here are wonderful and supportive and wise.
You do not need to make any rash decisions. To include moving to the state he is already in. If you need space, stay where you are and where your support system is. It will be pretty overwhelming to move, lose your support system and deal with the A. I am not saying don't move, but consider delaying it.
There will be much to work out, and many decisions to make. However none are immediate. So take care of your self. Expect him to lie, expect him to blame you or minimize it. It is very normal behavior after exposure.
The healing library has lots of information in it. You have found a wonderful site with great support.
I am hurting so bad don't know what to do.
We know, shattered. It is such an awful feeling. Right now, all you have to do is take care of yourself (and any children you have). It's going to be hard enough just to keep functioning, so give yourself some TLC. Whatever sounds good to eat, wear, read, watch on TV--do it.
I also found out about my husband's affair after it was over. If your husband ended the affair, he may have come out of the affair fog on his own. So he may be on the way towards true remorse. If you do decide to go see him, I would suggest that he read a short book first: How to help your spouse heal from your affair by Linda MacDonald.
If he takes that book to heart, then he won't hurt you more by telling half truths about the affair, getting defensive, or minimizing it.
I found emails. It felt like getting kicked in the chest by a horse. Amazingly, it does get better. You will survive and heal and thrive.
His attitude towards the A, being remorseful, complete transparency, acceptance of your terms, willingness to go to MC and IC, total NC with AP, answering your questions, access to his pc and phone etc. These things will all tell you if he is worth a second chance.
There are good posts about what's necessary for R in the Reconciliation Forum and you'll get a lot of support there should you choose to go this route. Most of all watch his actions. Words are cheap and mean nothing. His actions will tell you if he is willing to put in the hard work to help you heal from this an recover.
And whatever you decide you can change your mind at any time in the future because cheating is a dealbreaker for many.
Good luck shattered. Keep reading and posting and keep looking after yourself by eating and drinking.