This is outrageous.
Did the employer contact you directly, or is this being filtered through your husband?
I ask, because if the latter, it may not be accurate.
That he was written up is appropriate (not because of any computer issues, but because of workplace issues arising from inappropriate conduct). That you, in any way, are involved, is ludicrous.
I would definitely get an attorney.
And I would ask that my husband either find another job, or request a transfer.
That OW has complained that her access to your husband has been restricted (really, a declaration of, "I'll show her who's in charge here! She can't stop me!") is utterly ludicrous.
What is your husband's response to this? How did he respond to the allegations? Does the disciplinary process allow for him to respond? IMO, he needs to document, in writing the actual truth of the matter, and have it placed in his personnel file.
In addition to wanting to know how he responded to OW's allegations, I would very much like to know how he told you about this. What is his demeanor? (I mean, there's no place at all for him to assign blame anywhere but solidly on his own shoulders.)
What authority does this government employer have over you? How can they enforce your compliance with their demand to shut your website?
If any of this is true, I really question its legality.
I'm not suggesting you make your own life harder by fighting battles that don't need fighting. I mean, I'd probably do as asked. But I certainly would do so only pending getting legal counsel.
Something seems incredibly fishy. While "the government" can throw its weight around, there really are procedures, and they often are overstepped.
And I'd be checking to make sure that that hadn't occurred here.
ETA: You say you have a copy of the reprimand. What, specifically, does it say about what is required of you and potential consequences?
Keep good track of that document; an attorney will want it.
I would also ask your husband some very specific questions about the content of the conversation with his superiors. What was said, by whom? While it's fresh in his mind, that should be transcribed as completely as possible. If they're building a case that can result in his discharge for cause, then you will be glad to have as much information as possible to aid his defense.
[This message edited by solus sto at 5:53 PM, July 15th (Monday)]