OMG this thread is striking so many chords here with me it sounds like a symphony!!
don't you see your pattern!? Why would you leave and not work on R and be "that guy"!? Don't you see that you are the common denominator?
But he seems to think getting stuck with the "wrong girl" is something that keeps happening TO him. He's not responsible.
Especially this^^^. He dumped OW for the woman he ended up marrying. His wife then cheated on him. He met me. We had kids. Then OW comes along (married now with a kid) and he completes the circle and somehow she is the one he should have been with all along. He has been looking for someone like his mother all along. It's sick. OW is apparently a bitch just like his mom.
Phantom I have felt almost everything you have expressed here.
My back story is a little different. I believe that I entered the relationship and took as much as I did from ex because I figured I wouldn't have another chance at it. Him being my first and only relationship makes it hard to figure out where I went wrong and if my picker is broken or not.
ETA: This quote pretty much sums up how I feel right now.
This thread just hits so close to home.
" And after this you are never the same, just not going to happen. Whether you stay or can work it out with the WS or you get divorced and some day have another relationship down the road you now just know WAY too much about what human beings can do to hurt another."