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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 4 o'clock this morning ...
♀ Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A quote from your profile:

He said he felt horrible after the ordeal. I could see he meant it. Then he tells me again, for the third time, there is no more to tell. I want him to take that polygraph, and he refuses.

You don't believe him because he has lied and lied and lied to you, told you there was nothing more and there was LOTS more multiple times. He doesn't want to confess anything else because life is getting uncomfortable for him and it's cramping his style. This is also why he doesn't want to take the poly. He would rather have sex with strangers he meets in the laundry room. I imagine you might find there was an actual LTA with the poly, that's about the only thing he's never confessed to. He's been cheating for most of your M, there is a lot more than just those 3 encounters you know about.

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Quick question...Why is it that you would have to leave...Just wondering...

In my case I would have to be the one leaving because my WH refuses to leave the house..He has been asked to multiple times...

For me remaining in the house would not be worth getting law enforcement to kick WH out.. I would have to worry about being harassed or stalked...

So I am getting my ducks in a row for the eventuality of filing for divorce once I have a stable place to stay..

Key loggers are an excellent way to find out what your WH is up to....once you have the passwords that you need, deinstall the key logger..Depending on the laws in your state, you may not want to admit to anybody that you got your evidence of A via a key logger..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 10:06 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Nov 2011
I think I can
♀ Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He won't go to counseling because he's afraid the counselor will see right through him.

I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8826 | Registered: Jan 2008
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you allowing him to dictate what you have to accept?

You need the poly. Like you need air. You NEED it. He is refusing. Really? He is *refusing* after he has destroyed your trust over and over?

You need to find your bitch boots. As long as you allow him to refuse your demands for R,you won't move forward and he will think it's ok to tell you what to do and how to do it.

Eff that.

Tell him no poly,no R.

Oh..and we have a few members who have worked with people who administer polygraphs. They ARE actually quite accurate. The reason they're not allowed in court,IIRC,is because it is very easy for a sociopath to pass a poly. They lie very well,and so often,that they have convinced themselves of their lies. But the average person can not pass if they are lying.

[This message edited by confused615 at 10:51 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 7678 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
♀ Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her advice was how to help keep the affair a secret when they have a married partner who wants to keep the marriage.

...when I first saw this, I was a little shocked...decided to google search 'how to keep an affair descreet'... BAM, so many websites with tips....

I don't want to share the same air with these people...

Edit after more searching- MY GOSH! This is mindboggling.

Anyway livesbythesea. I think the reason why your mind won't rest is because it KNOWS that there is still something going on. Please do not allow him to make you doubt yourself.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 7:58 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 25
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