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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Craigslist dating ads....one way to feel good about being single
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Funny  Posted: 8:12 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG....I had to post this guy's ad.... now...if any of you ladies get all hot and bothered...I will get you the contact info...I had to really restrain myself on this one....

I'm Joe Blow (name changed to protect the ignorant). I'm 27 and single. I've been single for 9 years. I'm looking for a nice girl to chat with and see if we hit it off. I'm caring, nice, funny and an overall good person to be around. I'm not good at describing myself, so anything you wanna know feel free to ask. I doubt anyone will be interested because I make little money, have no car or license and I live with my mom. if it gets that far I have a below average size penis and I'm not good at sex because I don't have much experience. I also smoke marijuana. if any ladies are still interested after all that, shoot me an email and we'll talk.

Be still my heart....

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:13 PM, July 16th (Tuesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
ExposedNiblet
♀ Member
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, stand back ladies - this one is MINE!!!

The mind...it boggles!


Divorced
Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.


Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
clralb
♀ Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like someone playing a joke.


"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, stand back ladies - this one is MINE!!!

I did kinda find it odd that the guy spelled his FULL name out!!!??? To me that would boggle the mind if it was NOT a joke...and if it is......if I were the guy I would be SO PISSED!

Ex-girlfriend getting some last jabs in??


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you are looking for a more ONS kinda relationship with an "Austin Powers hairy" 50+ flat-assed man with a pitch fork, there was another ad that caught my attention....it said:

my meaty butt just out doing some farming
wanna farm with me? who wants to throw some hay around?

It showed a pic of a gentleman completely naked facing away from the camera showing off his hairy movie screen butt while he is holding a pitch fork!!

Yum Yum YUM!!! Be happy I spared ya'll the picture!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:35 PM, July 16th (Tuesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's what I need to visit.. Craigslist dating ads.... it will be a way to keep me from dating.

Too funny.... and thanks for sparing us the picture.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually met my SO on Craig's List.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DCK, we will forgive that of you because we know and love you!


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3085 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
Griefstricken25
♀ Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was almost okay. Until the middle. Then he crashed and burned FAST!


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2524 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DCK meeting her SO that way is what caused me to consider CL but when I checked it out I couldn't find anything worth considering. I'm in LE and CL has a dangerous rep. But it worked for DCK so there is a chance to meet someone great there.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just love Craigslist lol.

I go there sometimes when I need a laugh.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a below average size penis and I'm not good at sex

At least he fully disclosed his shortcomings. Pardon the pun!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, until he got to that last part, I thought it was Piper's sperm donor.... but he doesn't have any shortcomings in the sex or size department....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
feelsgaslighted
♀ Member
Member # 19290
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He should add his theme song is "The Way I Are" by Timbaland, he's a keeper.....

Posts: 265 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: South
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My personal favorite is the guys whose only requirement is:

"looking for a woman with a nice rack."

A real thinker there.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7765 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have come to find there are an overwhelming amount of ads for men in search of a submissive female looking to be dominated..... YIKES.

And, this is how serial killers are born.....

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 10:32 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could it be that somebody is playing a prank on this poor guy and posted this?

Maybe his mom..


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh please tell me he has a pic naked to the waist smirking in the bathroom mirror!!

Oh even better his penis next to a beer can


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh even better his penis next to a beer can

Wha????

Although I have received a pornographic email...I have yet to receive any...errr...photos of beer cans.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4185 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cmego - if you go on CL and like I did accidentally move highlight to casual encounters insead of cars for sale

Holy crap - guys with like cans next to their junk. Gee I am as big as REALLY!!!!

Needless to say I backed away slowly


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 31
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