My daughter hates my texts because they are all in complete sentences and spelled correctly.
I'm not a model case on choosing partners up to now it seems but here it goes :
Messed up relationship with FOO or on the contrary, badly idealizing or dependent on his family;
Always «agrees» with me (that always backfires, even if it takes years);
Not taking responsibility for being unhappy (or for anything else);
Jokes that make me unconfortable (discounting women, normalizing violence or otherwise unacceptable behavior);
Spending pattern obviously not in line with situation/position/income level - both ways;
Poor impulse control, e.g. not being able to follow through multiple diet/exercise/budget plans, reckless driving/behavior, etc.;
Changes the way he acts and «is» depending with who he is;
Not cultivating any interests of his own outside of work/family/couple time;
Repeatedly breaks promises;
Must have a win/lose outcome to arguments with me or any other person to feel satisfied;
Lack of empathy and lack of curiosity towards others in general.
Big list... Am I a hopeless case or what?
Also, butterflies are not a red flag, but would prompt me to question myself what it is in me that the person triggers. It could lead to interesting answers.