Court is tomorrow. I wonder how this will play out for him. He claims he told his attorney to tell mine, but there are a few reasons I don't believe that. I'll keep them to myself so I can explain them as needed in court though, if anyone asks. :) I had a mild emotional breakdown when I first got the phone call this morning, but I'm learning how incredibly, ridiculously strong I am when I need to be, so I pulled my shit together after crying for ten minutes and I'm okay. The kids don't know yet, because I can't tell them until the hearing tomorrow, when I figure out what I'm going to have to do. Who does this to their kids though? Especially a special needs kid who doesn't deal well with change?
I debated posting because it seems like everything I say might aggravate the situation by inflaming him, but damn it, he's going to act badly no matter what I do, so might as well just talk.
((( Coraline and kiddos )))
The Usual Suspects:
XWH (serial cheater with 12+ OW. Undiagnosed SA?)
Note: I edit often for typos/c
I'm so sorry Coraline.
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I have some friends here and all are willing to help me. I just have no idea how it will be possible for me to pack this house up. We have SO MUCH STUFF, and 3 kids, 2 of them very little. I really *need* a moving company to do it, but I don't know how to pay for that, and I can probably only afford a 2 bedroom in this expensive city, which sucks with 3 kids, but whatever. We're going to need a big storage unit for the rest of our stuff.
I'm not going to stress about it until I know what I'm expected to do. Then I'll figure it out, and it's going to suck, but I will manage. I'm just so, so devastated for my kids. This block of this neighborhood is something special. Our neighbors help each other out like family. I hang out with my next door neighbor literally 5 to 7 days each week. She's one of my best friends in the world. We both have 3yo girls, who are best buddies and play together all the time, and my 1yo thinks she's her second mother. 1yo cries whenever neighbor leaves, always runs to her to be picked up whenever she sees her, etc. My 9yo has friends she goes out to play with literally every day. I can't believe he's doing this to them.
He can hide behind military rules as his excuse all day, but he didn't give a crap about rules when he was boinking his married co-worker, or when he was boinking that 20yo girl 8 years ago (because I no longer believe that was an EA, after finding out this wasn't) or when he was violating HIPAA with this new one. Now we're all supposed to believe he cares? Please. If he hadn't told housing to kick me out, they wouldn't have. Plain and simple. But even if he HAD to tell them, he could've made sure I had proper notice, so I could secure a new place and prepare my kids.
No good words for you, just some hugs & some empathy.
He sounds like a real fucking shit. I'm sorry.
You read alot of shitty things here on SI...this is one of the worst. Wow. Im speechless.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Take heart friend - he has so few buttons to push he is getting desperate. The behaviour and acting out escalates because they have run out of buttons.
You'd think they'd at least try to hold on a tiny bit of self-respect by not doing awful things to their kids. Alas, no. They can't even manage that.
((Coraline)) whatever happens YOU ARE GOING TO BE A-OK.
He can do things to inconvenience you and make your children's lives harder than they need to be. But his opportunity to do so will run out one day.
At the end of the day he will be the sad lonely guy who no-one visits in the nursing home whilst you are enveloped in the warmth and love of your family until the end of your days.
Your kids and mine will be grown ups for far longer than they are children. He is continuing to make the biggest mistakes of his life and he is too dumb to realise it.
He will reap what he sows. You can count on that.
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
today I just feel the need to post something.
WOW! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLY EPICLY DISTURBED FUCKING DOUCHBAG!
I am so sorry that you're dealing with this. Wish I could help you pack and find a new place.
Years ago my NPD freak -- my sons bio dad not my X. Did something similar with family student housing. All my friends were gone for the summer. I got that place moved and it was crazy hard but I got it done. You'll be OK. It does work out.
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.
He wants you out? Fine. IF there's nothing you can do (I also suggest you speak to his commander), then pack the essentials and leave the rest for him to clean up.
Also, DO check into the movers. They will make things a lot simpler for you.
And now -- yeah, just leave what you can't take or weren't planning on taking back to the mainland. The rest is his problem.
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."