Now, I'd be on the phone or meeting with his supervisor asap. That may or may not get you anywhere, but I feel like they like to know about these kinds of things.
Next, I know how stringent the military is about what condition the house has to be in when you move out. I would take what you need, and leave the place a fucking mess. Let him hire a cleaning company so he doesn't get fined. He wants to stir the pot? I say you put that pot on the fire and turn up the heat.
What a lowlife.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
Have you talked to his command about anything that is going on? Even if they can't/won't help, I would make sure everyone knew what he was doing and what he has done before I left. He is a monster, an abomination walking around in human form.
And you are right. No matter what you do he is going to behave badly, so do whatever the hell you WANT to do with zero regard for his reaction. I am SO angry for you! So many of our military members are true heroes but there are A LOT of assholes who wear the uniform for the ego boost and their hero complex when in reality they are heartless cowards like your husband pretending to be better than they are.
Obviously I was right, because he had to have done this at least 2 weeks ago, because they need 30 days notice. It's hard to ignore what you see and listen to your gut when you know what is true, but I'm glad I did. It saved me some hurt feelings and shock.
I'm at the courthouse now. 20 more minutes!
[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 2:23 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]
I'd make him aware. Yesterday.
I hope court goes well.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Whatever. I now know that the *worst* that can happen isn't so bad, so I'm just riding the waves. The worst he can do is make me poor for a while and lie about me, which he apparently does with impunity, but no one believes anything he says except his psycho girlfriend, his attorney and apparently his family, and I don't care what any of those people think. The judge already made it abundantly clear that I was getting physical custody. The rest is just details.
It's a week later, but I'm editing these to say that I think that whole custody thing wasn't so abundantly clear after all. It was mentioned, but nothing is done until the final trial, so it could still change. :-/
[This message edited by Coraline at 9:15 PM, July 26th (Friday)]
I guess the housing is good news but I still think he is a prick for not putting the children's best interest first. So yah, let's either force them to endure another HUGE transition BEFORE school starts OR DURING the school year. What an asshole.
I'm glad to hear you got physical custody. It sounds like all his chest thumping and controlling antics are rolling off of you like water on a duck. Keep moving forward. I better life awaits you.
It's a week later and I'm editing this because I was talking to my attorney again today and it seemed like my understanding of this was wrong. He said something to the effect of me having custody, but apparently one can never take that to mean much, before all the chips fall.
[This message edited by Coraline at 9:12 PM, July 26th (Friday)]
It is what it is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
PS...I doubt his attorney believes him. He's just getting paid to be a divorce lawyer...which I've learned is just about the money and power.