CL, I know everyone is being pretty blunt with you. Frankly, it's because this is a BIG BAD THING. After everything you've been through with the affair and freaking CPS being involved and giving you a fish eye, I know it seems like adding one more thing to the pile is just more than you can take.
Please know that people are worried for you. I know you don't want to do anything that might make things even harder.
So it may start to feel like it's easier to explain it away, to think, "But, guys/self, this isn't even the worst part of my day and you guys want me to throw everything I've worked for away for 'just' that?!"
I've been there. I totally understand feeling like one more thing is the thing that finally kills you dead.
CL, this isn't an embarrassing thing. This isn't something that makes you weak or that you're letting him do it by not screeching the house awake when he touches you.
You aren't making this happen. That it IS happening isn't a sign you're responsible EITHER.
I think you need to get to a place of calmness. Where the cacophony of trauma in your head can calm enough to think of this without connecting it to everything else.
Can you find that place? Can you take an hour and sit and think and breathe? It doesn't matter if you cry or not. There is no right or wrong response. Just find YOU for a second. FEEL YOU. See what makes you the most sad. See what you'd like to change about the situation, that's in your power.
Just pick one. Just start with one. Is that doable?