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Newest Member: HurtCat (45338)

Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wasband Married?
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously, who gets married without telling their kids????

well, besides your wasband, there's the ass I used to be married to. Oh wait, I guess he did tell one of the boys, after the fact, of course.

Glad you could laugh about it. I hope finding out doesn't cause any setbacks for your daughter.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually, Mr. Peckerwood/Perv was discussing M with OW over a year ago-he'd known her less than half a year and was willing to throw away 20 years and his life with his child for OW.

This happened to a friend also, who found out after being married that her H -now ExH -was married previously, also for...4 months!

What is with that number?

And, something that's bothered me a long while, is that my mother's current BF was her counselor/social worker, who was mysteriously fired after a job with long service in it...we don't know why, some years later.

Her BFF is also planning to move away with the man she love-they are in their 60's-and this was her psychologist.

To me, and I don't know if any of you will think this, there is a common factor...boundaries?

I'm only glad you can laugh about Wasband. And I wonder how long it will last.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NiK, if he doesn't do something selfish and stupid at regular intervals he loses his Douschebag-Of-The-Month membership - didn't you know?

In all seriousness, I think that I've experienced my biggest "Who DOES that?!?!" moment here today.

(((Youse)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17836 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They could be also be faking it. My XH and the OW wore wedding rings before we were even divorced. Hell, they were engaged before we were divorced also.

I don't see this going over well with the kids if they haven't even met her yet.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think he would be goofy enough to be wearing some sort of "promise ring" his GF gave him like he did with the OW? Just a thought.

If not, then this is apparently the month of Douchiest XWS Weddings Ever.

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 8:21 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. What a douche! I would hope (but not expect) that his focus would be on DD's progress, and not making it worse for her by throwing new GF/wife into the picture.

Peridot's post reminded me of something that happened when I was a kid. My aunt's sister met a guy, they dated for a while, and then they married. I even remember the reception. Turns out, he was actually married to someone else. He didn't bother actually divorcing his BW before attempting to legally marry someone else. I cannot fathom what it must be like to live in some of these WS's heads.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Lyonesse
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IDK whether to address it with him first, talk to the counselor anyway, or just sit back and let things play out?

I think my inclination would be to bring it to the counselor's attention, but make it clear you don't know anything for sure. I wouldn't want to give Wasband the satisfaction of noticing, but the counselor could perhaps say that she noticed he was wearing a wedding band and wondered if he had anything to discuss that might impact DD's progress in the program?


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1797 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also? DS19 has never met the woman. NOT ONCE. The. Hell.

This part really ticks me off. Obviously I plan on introducing any future partners to my children before I make a major commitment such as marriage or moving in together.. I would go as far as to say that if he is not good with my children or they don't get along, that would probably be a dealbreaker for me. Kids come first!! WTF is wrong with these selfish asshats???

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 12:35 AM, July 19th (Friday)]


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2316 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
curiouswiz
♀ Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He was waving his hans around more than usual???

Sounds to me he wanted to be sure you noticed it and maybe wanted to bring it up right then and there.

What a great way to help the healing.


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 633 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hardly slept at all last night contemplating what, if anything, to do with this. Complicating matters is the fact that I hit the road in a couple of days for work travel, and won't be physically around for either DD or DS should things fall out.

So, I'm going to chat with the counselor this morning, just to give a heads up that there might be a huge bomb headed DD's way.

As for DS... He hasn't spoken with or seen his dad in close to two months. His relationship with his father is totally out of my hands, as he's 19 now. Thinking of just letting this ride and leave it between the two of them. Chances are they won't see each other while I'm gone, and I'm loathe to insert myself in the middle of their relationship.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS just called me to let me know his father reached out to ask him over to meet the gf/wife/whatever tonight. And DS agreed to go.

So I'm guessing I'll have confirmation one way or the other after that.

If you are so inclined, keep a good thought for DS tonight. I have a feeling this will be rough for him.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm concerned about how she'll react once she notices the ring. Seriously, who gets married without telling their kids????

That would be my X, although they were planning a wedding for their 6 month anniversary. Some of the kids found their marriage license online with the correct date. They still pretend the faux wedding is their anniversary.

Saying prayers for both your kids.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17493 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that's ridiculous. If he wants to wave it all around so everyone notices, why not just come out and tell you?


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

any news from dinner last night?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4684 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Any news?


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*sigh* No news.

I didn't see DS until this morning. I asked him how last night went, and he started talking about how he didn't see what the big deal was - that it had a few creepy points, but wasn't nearly as scary as everyone was making it out to be.

Took me a minute to realize that he was talking about the movie he and his gf had gone to see AFTER meeting wasband & gf/whatever.

When that got straightened out, all he said was, "She seemed nice. It's weird with Dad, though. It's like he isn't my father anymore - just some guy I know." How sad is that?

No mention of the ring. No mention of anything else. And I really couldn't push him any farther without flat out asking him if he'd seen a ring, which I don't want to do.

So... ???

I don't think it's a coincidence that he invited DS to meet the gf/whatever now after so long of not pushing for it. I don't know - maybe they wanted to do the introduction before the announcement?


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of they are doing what Xbox did. Plan a wedding so all can attend?

I hope he doesn't do that.

Are your records available online? Might be worth a check so you aren't blindsided by his nuptials


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UPDATE...

DD was home with me on a day pass this afternoon. Took her back to the program about an hour ago, and when I got back and got on the computer, I found she had left her FB logged in and sitting on her Dad's FB page (where she had left him a birthday note). In his feed, there was a picture of his gf's hand, sporting an engagement ring, sitting on top of his (with the new band), and the notation "Engaged - July 13."

Dudes - he got engaged last month, posted it on FRICKING FB, and didn't tell either of his kids.

There are "likes" and comments from friends AND RELATIVES, but he didn't tell his kids. Their aunts, uncles, and cousins know about it.

DS saw the post (he isn't friends with wasband, but saw it via his sister's logon). DS is incredulous. And playing it off in a smart aleck way, but you can tell he's really hurt. Pretty sure DD didn't see it. She would have said something if she had.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the future Mr. and Mrs. JAMF?!


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And playing it off in a smart aleck way, but you can tell he's really hurt.

My heart's breaking for your son. Like my kids, yours don't deserve to have such an ass for a dad, either.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Topic Posts: 67
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4

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