Seriously, who gets married without telling their kids????
well, besides your wasband, there's the ass I used to be married to. Oh wait, I guess he did tell one of the boys, after the fact, of course.
Glad you could laugh about it. I hope finding out doesn't cause any setbacks for your daughter.
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
This happened to a friend also, who found out after being married that her H -now ExH -was married previously, also for...4 months!
What is with that number?
And, something that's bothered me a long while, is that my mother's current BF was her counselor/social worker, who was mysteriously fired after a job with long service in it...we don't know why, some years later.
Her BFF is also planning to move away with the man she love-they are in their 60's-and this was her psychologist.
To me, and I don't know if any of you will think this, there is a common factor...boundaries?
I'm only glad you can laugh about Wasband. And I wonder how long it will last.
The times, they are'a changin'! -Bob Dylan
In all seriousness, I think that I've experienced my biggest "Who DOES that?!?!" moment here today.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
I don't see this going over well with the kids if they haven't even met her yet.
If not, then this is apparently the month of Douchiest XWS Weddings Ever.
[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 8:21 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]
Peridot's post reminded me of something that happened when I was a kid. My aunt's sister met a guy, they dated for a while, and then they married. I even remember the reception. Turns out, he was actually married to someone else. He didn't bother actually divorcing his BW before attempting to legally marry someone else. I cannot fathom what it must be like to live in some of these WS's heads.
IDK whether to address it with him first, talk to the counselor anyway, or just sit back and let things play out?
I think my inclination would be to bring it to the counselor's attention, but make it clear you don't know anything for sure. I wouldn't want to give Wasband the satisfaction of noticing, but the counselor could perhaps say that she noticed he was wearing a wedding band and wondered if he had anything to discuss that might impact DD's progress in the program?
Also? DS19 has never met the woman. NOT ONCE. The. Hell.
This part really ticks me off. Obviously I plan on introducing any future partners to my children before I make a major commitment such as marriage or moving in together.. I would go as far as to say that if he is not good with my children or they don't get along, that would probably be a dealbreaker for me. Kids come first!! WTF is wrong with these selfish asshats???
[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 12:35 AM, July 19th (Friday)]
Sounds to me he wanted to be sure you noticed it and maybe wanted to bring it up right then and there.
What a great way to help the healing.
So, I'm going to chat with the counselor this morning, just to give a heads up that there might be a huge bomb headed DD's way.
As for DS... He hasn't spoken with or seen his dad in close to two months. His relationship with his father is totally out of my hands, as he's 19 now. Thinking of just letting this ride and leave it between the two of them. Chances are they won't see each other while I'm gone, and I'm loathe to insert myself in the middle of their relationship.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
So I'm guessing I'll have confirmation one way or the other after that.
If you are so inclined, keep a good thought for DS tonight. I have a feeling this will be rough for him.
That would be my X, although they were planning a wedding for their 6 month anniversary. Some of the kids found their marriage license online with the correct date. They still pretend the faux wedding is their anniversary.
Saying prayers for both your kids.
I didn't see DS until this morning. I asked him how last night went, and he started talking about how he didn't see what the big deal was - that it had a few creepy points, but wasn't nearly as scary as everyone was making it out to be.
Took me a minute to realize that he was talking about the movie he and his gf had gone to see AFTER meeting wasband & gf/whatever.
When that got straightened out, all he said was, "She seemed nice. It's weird with Dad, though. It's like he isn't my father anymore - just some guy I know." How sad is that?
No mention of the ring. No mention of anything else. And I really couldn't push him any farther without flat out asking him if he'd seen a ring, which I don't want to do.
I don't think it's a coincidence that he invited DS to meet the gf/whatever now after so long of not pushing for it. I don't know - maybe they wanted to do the introduction before the announcement?
I hope he doesn't do that.
Are your records available online? Might be worth a check so you aren't blindsided by his nuptials
DD was home with me on a day pass this afternoon. Took her back to the program about an hour ago, and when I got back and got on the computer, I found she had left her FB logged in and sitting on her Dad's FB page (where she had left him a birthday note). In his feed, there was a picture of his gf's hand, sporting an engagement ring, sitting on top of his (with the new band), and the notation "Engaged - July 13."
Dudes - he got engaged last month, posted it on FRICKING FB, and didn't tell either of his kids.
There are "likes" and comments from friends AND RELATIVES, but he didn't tell his kids. Their aunts, uncles, and cousins know about it.
DS saw the post (he isn't friends with wasband, but saw it via his sister's logon). DS is incredulous. And playing it off in a smart aleck way, but you can tell he's really hurt. Pretty sure DD didn't see it. She would have said something if she had.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the future Mr. and Mrs. JAMF?!
And playing it off in a smart aleck way, but you can tell he's really hurt.
My heart's breaking for your son. Like my kids, yours don't deserve to have such an ass for a dad, either.