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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: In the same bag in the garage I found...
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, doing more clearing & packing in the garage. In the same bag, apparently one I missed the first time, I found:

* Computer class training notes from the 80's
* Some kind of odd poker/bingo cards or something, w/ chips
* A handwritten record of thousands, and I mean THOUSANDS, of bingo games played, hands dealt, how it progressed, who won, all time high scores or whatever
* Love letter from a girlfriend complete with lots of pics of them having various kinds of sex, and also some nekkid ones of him holding his cat on his dick (no wonder that cat preferred me to him when I came along)
* What appears to be a small vial of cocaine

Okay, WTF do I do with this vial? Throw it in the trash and pray no one ever finds it?

ETA: It's not bingo games that are recorded, it's whatever this odd card game is that seems like it could be poker, but it's played on big cards like bingo cards. I dunno WTF it is.

Oh, and seeing those naked & sex pictures did absolutely nothing to me. I did not trigger, my heart didn't even skip a beat.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 9:13 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9687 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Griefstricken25
♀ Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any idea what you'd do with it.

Can you just burn down that damn garage?


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2519 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's an attached garage. Burn it, burn the house.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9687 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Call the police and tell them you found something suspicious in your ex's belongings in the garage and let them take care of it. Do **not** handle it with your bare hands. The residue alone could make you sick, depending on what it is.

I'm serious about this. If you want to protect your kids from this kind of thing during visitations, it's a good idea to start getting the police involved in it now.

I'm so sorry that garage is so horrific.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I picked up the vial to look at it. So my fingerprints are on it now. It's empty for the most part, just dust on the inside. White dust. I didn't open it. I know this particular girlfriend, I think she's the hooker, did coke a lot, so that's why my mind immediately leapt to oh shit, this is coke.

Won't I get arrested for this?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9687 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG, I'd seriously consider asking the police to do a forensic search through your garage. I don't know how much it would cost to pay for someone to do it for you.

OR - I would get the whole lot taken out and sent to the dump rather than go through it myself. You have all of your important stuff, short of finding a dead body with his DNA on it there's nothing useful for you in there.

There is not really any reason for you to go through it all yourself.

Can you ask your L what you should do? I don't know what the laws are but are there amounts are chargeable?

It would be difficult to prove that it is his, notwithstanding it is his 'stuff'.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5560 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I guess you could call your lawyer to ask. Of course your prints are going to be on it -- you were cleaning out a bag of his things. You were going to touch it. At least take photos of the whole mess.

I just worry there's going to be even more stuff like this and at some point someone's going to ask, "Did you ever call the police?" and you'll have to say no and somehow hurt your own (and the kids') interests.

You need to start wearing rubber gloves when you go through his crap.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
Duffy1958
♀ Member
Member # 39755
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wash the container out & toss it. That's what the cops would do if you called them. You won't go to jail for it if you quickly get rid of the evidence! JK.

Glad you didn't trigger. Life is good.


Me-SAHW soon 55
Him-asshat age 60
Married 3.5 years together 13.5
Step-children 8 altogether Grandchildren.
Cheaters are the same yesterday, today & forever. They may have different caveats but they lie the same & pull the same shit.

Where i


Posts: 114 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to start wearing rubber gloves when you go through his crap
And a full body condom over a hazmat suit...


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To explain, the reason I sort through everything is because, for reasons I'll never understand, STBX mixed up his stuff with my stuff. He'd open boxes of our stuff and then mix the box contents together with no regard for time frame, logic or future locatability (I know that's not a word). In this same box that held the bag w/ the sex pics and suspicious vial are some of my old flower vases, the expensive green covering of my drafting board (artists will know what I'm talking about) that was "lost by the movers" when we moved here, old newspapers referencing John Wayne's death, pay stubs, old bills for both of us, more resumes (FNA, what was up with him keeping copies of old resumes & putting them in like every friggin' box in the garage???), and so forth.

There's no reason for our stuff to be mixed together. I don't want to throw out my stuff.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9687 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yuck! Be careful-- you don't want to get stuck with a hypodermic needle or touch something else incredibly disgusting while you're searching through. How much more do you need to sort through? Is this a garage straight from an episode of Hoarders?

Sending you clean garage mojo...


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3606 | Registered: Oct 2011
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe call the non emergency police number to see what they recommend you do with drug paraphernalia you find. I'm sorry you had to find all of that yucky stuff.

((ng))


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 650 | Registered: Jan 2012
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should talk to your attorney. I would probably call the cops.

Do you have a GAL? I wonder if you should be saving some of this stuff for evidence. It might help to get him supervised visitation.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4780 | Registered: Feb 2008
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn. This garage is one fucked up hell hole.

I'd call my attorney. Look, if it is coke, I wouldn't want to touch another fucking thing in there. And I would lean heavily toward letting the forensics unit clean the place out.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4634 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I picked up the vial to look at it. So my fingerprints are on it now.

I occasionally have to turn in drugs and paraphernalia to the police that I've confiscated from students and I've always had to handle it before I turned it over. Contact your attorney first but I think the police understand that most drug users don't call them over to turn in their own stash. It might be valuable to have documentation of the crap you find in his belongings, especially when it crosses the line between creepy and illegal.

[This message edited by h0peless at 11:16 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]


Posts: 1686 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

also some nekkid ones of him holding his cat on his dick

I'm sorry, to me this is more disturbing than the possible drugs in some ways. These need to be brought to your lawyer. Between this and the other things you have found, I would fight tooth and nail to have all his visits with the kids supervised...if you haven't already.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11190 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
curiouswiz
♀ Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found a crack pipe in his classic car. I found a bag of used needles in our Boston home.

I was so scared to touch anything but I did. I took them. I put them in a box and brought them to my attorney. He said he didn't want them! Then he made this funny face like why did I take them. I asked if I should give them to the police to dispose of and he advised against that saying that I really don't want the cops to know I have needles in my possession!

I told him I thought it would be useful in court! Ha. He said ohh, okay hold on to them but be careful! So, they're in a box in the back of a closet waiting to show to a judge.


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 633 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was D my XWH#1, I found a gun under our mattress after a court date for a RO when he had to disclose what guns he owned. I know the gun had not been there before because my BIL and I looked under the mattress while looking for a gun that I owned. After court that day WH#2, his parents, and I looked and there it was. My WH#2 (just new BF at the time) touched the gun when he saw it. I freaked out since now his fingerprints were on it and I didn't know what XWH#1 was trying to pull. We immediately got rid of the gun. We sold it to a friend and he got rid of it himself. I never asked who he sold it to. To this day XWH#1 has never asked for that gun and his uncle gave it to him. He asked for everything but the kitchen sink, but never said another word about that gun. We still wonder how it got there, what his purpose was, and why he never asked for such a personal possession. Hopefully I never find out. I have no idea where the gun is now and I don't think my XWH#1 ever registered it, so hopefully I don't ever find out it was involved in a crime if it turns up somewhere again.

If it were me, I would wipe my fingerprints off the vial, flush any powder in it, and throw the vial away. I would not involve the police as they tend to think of these things as domestic problems and might think you are trying to frame your WS. JMHO.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Throw it in the trash. If there is just residue, there is not enough to prove any criminal activity. Plus, you cannot prove that it is his, hers, or someone else's. Even if you try to introduce it as evidence against him for visitation issues, again, you cannot prove it was his. Way too much room for "reasonable doubt."

DON'T FLUSH IT! That crap is bad for water and not all sewer systems effectively clean it meaning it will be released back into open water somewhere. (I have worked in that industry for many years so it is something I know a few things about... :-))

Now, the naked and sex pictures are DEFINITELY something you can use against him to request supervised visitation so keep those!!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1121 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea what you should do about any of it, but... HOLDING A CAT ON HIS DICK? WTF!?! Damn, that garage is one sick place. I'll be glad for you when you finally finish with it!


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 22
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