He sent this to her in a text about 1 month after D-day when he was still in a fog. It has been 9 months now, and things are moving in the right direction. But there is a part of me that will not let this go. Everytime I start feeling good about our relationship, I pull this text up and others and read them all over again. (I have saved all his text and pictures). After I do this, then I feel so down.
It is like I don't want to be happy or I'm just safe guarding my heart. It is frustrating and I don't understand why I do this! Will I ever let myself be happy with him again? Sometimes I wonder....
[This message edited by Cheatedon23 at 2:10 PM, July 19th (Friday)]
Maybe ask yourself this - what happens that makes you pull up this text and old pictures of the affair stuff? Why do you inflict the heartache on yourself over and over again? You don't have to answer me, only yourself, look inward, what makes you go back to all the painful stuff when something starts to be good?
The other word that is dreaded is it takes t.i.m.e. When I first came to SI I absolutely hated that word. But here I am 5 years out, and realize that it took me a lot of time, and I'm still a work in progress
Hang in there ((Cheatedon23))
Focus on YOU ...not her...not him...she is definitely not worth your time.
I do the same thing, dwelling on statements said in the past. We all do.
The real fact is, anything related to his affair is lies and fantasy.
We know that in our hearts, and none of what they say is true, but we still act as though it is cast in stone, when its not.
Try and put little thought into what was said during the crazy time, and start listening as the lies subside and the truth comes in.
And he had to, after all. He had to convince himself that they were really REALLY special, if he was going to try to betray me with them. Because otherwise, what did that make him? Just a common, dirty old man, looking for a lay.
I think that, in time, you won't feel the need to keep pulling up these messages as things continue to improve between the two of you. I don't. But don't feel bad if you think that you need the reminder, every so often, of why exactly you feel so horrible. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012