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Wayward Side     Print Topic    
User Topic: Office visit from BS to call OW.
AceKnight
♂ New Member
Member # 39832
Stop  Posted: 5:18 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night my BS called me to my office to review my work email account to search for all correspondence with the OW. There were quite a few emails, and voice mails that were found in my inbox. My BS went thru each one to verify the accuracy of how I describe the relationship versus how it was reflected in the correspondences.
They did not match as to how I was trying to downplay the nature of the relationship versus the true nature of it that I was living it. I was saying it was platonic and not heavily romantic when it was romantic once the A took off.

I had sent a text message earlier before we went to review my office emails that I was coming clean after reading some encouraging post about how to do so. Obviously, I still had some dirt on me and didn't come clean enough. Trying to answer more lies on the back end with the truth isn't good because it doesn't look like the truth. There was more that I should have included in the text message.

Today, my BS called me to meet her at my office and gave me a 30 minute time frame to get there or else. I am currently on vacation until next week. I met her at my office within the allotted time and we forwarded all the discovered emails to my BS personal email account. This was not done by my initiation but by my BS.

I was then told to call the OW and read the NC letter that my BS had prepared. I did so accordingly. I am not to be contacted via email, mail, phone, social media or any other methods of communication and vice versa. If so, I would be faced with having to resign my job. The OW (lives on East Coast) works in my field to and was told that the emails and voice mails would be sent out to others in our industry that would affect her working ability as well.

After that we called our Pastor who is helping us with R to inform him of what was done. Also, I removed myself from Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn to remove all the social media access that I have to renew, or gain relationships with women that would be inappropriate. I also deleted apps like Words with Friends and others that have the ability to chat and occupy family time with. This I did on my own.

Also, my BS has prepared 2 letters and said that if I or the OW disregard the NC agreement that they would be mailed to others in the industry we are in.

My BS left me in my office and went home where she called the OW and got another view of my A with her. Once again, there was some downplaying done on my end and inaccuracies.

I have failed to mention in this post that I had planned to meet up with the OW during my wedding anniversary weekend last year, left home and traveled across the country and missed my son's bday to be on a fellas trip that included time with my OW since she lived nearby, and also mailed a "just because" package my youngest daughter's birthday. When you are in it, you don't see all the freaking stop signs that are posted.

Right now the parameters have been set. Because I do need at least need Twitter for my job, I am going to ask my BS to run and manage my account as a provision to now engage in inappropriate conversations with females.

I am so deep sometimes in my skirting of the truth initially that I don't know what is going to come back to bite me in the ass, how I describe something versus the reality of it, when all I want to do is lay it all out according to how my BS needs to hear it. It is my sincere desire that going forward I don't skirt, tap, or minimize the truth.


Posts: 26 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
SurprisinglyOkay
♀ Member
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TT is a killer.

The quicker you stop lying the quicker you guys can begin to heal.

You aren't doing her any favors by downplaying.

You hear again and again here that the worst part of the A's are the lies and secrets.

She will find out the truth. better from you, than somewhere else.

It's hard, but necessary.


FWS me 36 (recovering addict)
BS him 39 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
2 children


"Your secrets keep you sick"


Posts: 1130 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please use the existing thread.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=502201

Thank you


Posts: 34709 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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