Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: z1x2606 (43216)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Time to join this forum
Betrayeddaddio
♂ Member
Member # 30198
Target  Posted: 8:30 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just short of three years past D-day, and here I am, twas always a deal breaker, was gonna try the Mediation route I thought, for the sake of the kids...but then yadda yadda said to my WW that.....lawyers and battles $$$$$$$.

This shit has sucked from the get go....( if I ever date again I need to order a new "picker" on Ebay!! Heavy emphasis on morals)


BH-42 WW-40 DD-5 DD-9 DD-11
D-Day 09/27/2010 Wayward wife had a 10 month A with married DB co-worker Separated Oct. 2013

Posts: 694 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Canada
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome to D&S daddio. Lots of folks in the same boat, sorry you're here.

Strap in and hang on, the ride can be a little bumpy but this too shall pass.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
Celebrating 60 years on Earth

Posts: 16634 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry it came to this. We've got you, betrayeddaddio.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22665 | Registered: Aug 2011
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry daddio. If we can help, let us know. You can make it through this.


BS(me) 46, kids DS 17, DD 14.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5225 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
LadyQ
♀ Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there,daddio, it could be worse, you could be raising teenagers!

[This message edited by LadyQ at 9:21 PM, July 19th (Friday)]


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome. This forum saved me a lot of grief and kept me from sending a lot of nasty emails. It's a great resource to have even if you wish you didn't need it.

If you find decent Ebay bargains on pickers, would you let me know?


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3401 | Registered: Oct 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This shit has sucked from the get go....

It sucks less as time goes on. All of it sucks less than struggling in the crazy quicksand that is an unremorseful WS and/or fighting the fat that this is simply a dealbreaker.

My picker is on the fritz too - maybe I should try to sell it on eBay?


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4557 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Betrayeddaddio
♂ Member
Member # 30198
Default  Posted: 1:24 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ya know, you never really know if choosing to separate and divorce is the right choice or not when you are going through it, but after I told the WW that I am miserable and will never forgive or forget the worst thing that has ever been done to me it happened.

My WW who is registered here (Jeezlouise) but has about 25 total posts in just under 3 years, so I wouldn't really call her a member or user, she read just enough to know how to act remorseful, had this to say after it was decided to separate. "You know there was a reason I did what I did...right?" "Things weren't great between us ya know", was what she said. My response, "So I made you have an affair with your married co-worker?"

This site is great, but it can also give an unremorseful spouse a script to read to sound remorseful. She said everything a remorseful spouse is supposed to say..(but not the actions)..until I acknowledged that her betrayal was in fact a deal breaker, then the real WW came out. (I turned into a dirty whore because you made/forced me).

So House appraisal, mortgage refinancing, mediator for separation agreement, lawyers to check it......wait a year and divorced.....check.


BH-42 WW-40 DD-5 DD-9 DD-11
D-Day 09/27/2010 Wayward wife had a 10 month A with married DB co-worker Separated Oct. 2013

Posts: 694 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You know there was a reason I did what I did...right?"
Yup. Because she wanted to and could. Her "reason" is bullshit, but you know that already. You don't improve a "not great" marriage by bringing an affair into the mix.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22665 | Registered: Aug 2011
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You know there was a reason I did what I did...right?"

First, Daddio, I'm sorry you've been dealt this hand.

Second, the above quote just sends chills down my spine. I heard the same EXACT words as my Xww and I were approaching divorce. I was so dumbfounded when she said those words that I don't think I responded at all. The words actually gave me strength, resolve and some level of reassurance that I was doing the right thing, because they helped me realize just how little she valued me and our family. They showed me how little she respected me and our love together (or what I thought was our love together). I hope you can find some of those same things in those godforsaken words.

Strength to you.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 803 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
CluelessGuy
♂ Member
Member # 28491
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome, daddio. She seems like a real charmer. I got close to the same line. It's in the WW script.

Don't let the lawyers take too much of your money. Settle as much as you can between yourselves. I know, easier said than done.

Anyway, hang in there and think of it all as a light at the end of the tunnel. Limbo-land was only a few months for me and I wouldn't wish the whole experience on anyone (OK, well, a couple people) but life gets better. Much better. And now that you know where you are headed, it will be that much easier to get there.


BH - early 40s
XWW - early 40s
Two kids

D-Day - Easter 2010
D-Day 2 - July 18, 2010

Divorced - Nov. 26, 2012


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2010
Topic Posts: 11

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.