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User Topic: A picture says a thousand words
DragnHeart
♀ Member
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And that word is Trigger (1000 times over!).

Wh told me of a renovation done is his department.

Ok fine...

Yesterday he texts me a picture of the finished renovation...

Yes, like I needed to SEE a place I have avoided like the plague for three years.....a picture right beside the door leading to the room where he and ow2 did the nasty Lord only knows how many times....a picture, while ya the Reno looks all nice, has sent me into a deep, dark abyss of hell!!!

I have realized that all the anger I have worked hard to work through isn't gone but has been sitting deep in the bowels of my gut just waiting to explode.

And explode it has, not outwardly though. Inside I'm on fire.

A picture. Stupid picture.

Part of my anger is at wh for sending me that picture. I have explained countless times about triggers. I have explained that I hate how he can walk into that back room every day and relive his happy times with ow2. a spank bank of memories he has. Makes me

So why on earth would he think I would want to see a picture of anything to do with that place???

Sorry...I just needed to vent.


Posts: 2760 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
hardtimesinlife
♀ Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((DragnHeart)))

Triggers Suck! Sometimes the explosions help to purge the poison, weakening the trigger. Hope that is the case here.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 5958 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
DragnHeart
♀ Member
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the hugs :)

Maybe I need to be exposed to the triggers more so I get desensidized to them???

It's been a long time since I saw the place...

I'm still mad at wh. Why can't he understand that things like that will upset me...


Posts: 2760 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
bestrongforyou
♀ Member
Member # 25818
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually did it on purpose - there are 3 songs which used to be huge trigger every time I heard them by chance on the radio - and then I downloaded them and made myself listen to them over and over - now they don't trigger anymore.


Me(39)BS Him(35)

Posts: 659 | Registered: Oct 2009
DragnHeart
♀ Member
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's funny you mention songs. Wh told me that for months the same song has played every time he drives to work. I dont recall the title but it's about her catching him cheating... He said he wondered if I requested that song constantly just to be a reminder for him... (I didn't by the way lol).

I have avoided the city he works in because of the possibility of running into ow2.

She no longer works where he does but just being there, knowing people knew what was happening and seeing those people plus the actual place he and her did it made me physically sick.


Posts: 2760 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
DragnHeart
♀ Member
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another thing that bothers me is that's pictures of that room on his phone. He says he took them to show what the stock room looked like before he left so he could tell if the other employees took the stock they were supposed to...

For me it's like he has them so he can visualize his time with ow2.


Posts: 2760 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that I would drop a hammer on that phone. And not in the nicest way possible.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4123 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
carnelian
♀ Member
Member # 24824
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you talked to him about your feelings? Is it possible he showed you the picture because he knows the old place was a trigger and thinks that maybe the renovation is a sort of cleansing?


What are you going to do when he leaves you?

Posts: 543 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Europe
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This would upset me too, because it seems insensitive to your feelings.

My wBF wants me to spend the night at his house. I tried one time, and it was horrible because I know she slept in that bed. Now I just insist that he comes to my house if he wants to see me.

I would try to explain why you don't like that room, and what it reminds you of. He should also remove the picture from his phone in my opinion.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 733 | Registered: Jul 2013
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...not the most "tuned-in", sensitive, aware of others feelings kind of guy, I'm guessing. IMO, he needs to know about how these pictures have caused you pain. I hope he will understand and apologize.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 803 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
DragnHeart
♀ Member
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you talked to him about your feelings? Is it possible he showed you the picture because he knows the old place was a trigger and thinks that maybe the renovation is a sort of cleansing?

No I havent talked to him about it. We haven't really discussed A related stuff since we moved and things went to hell with his family. He's been so upset about what they did that he's not been in any mood to "talk" at all.

Well.....not to ME anyways. Found out about a conversation he had with a work rep, to personal, a great violation of boundaries... We talked about that But not in great detail.


Posts: 2760 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 11

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