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User Topic: Porn
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The only reason many women don't like it is because it makes them feel insecure. But almost all men do it and you can't really get them to stop.
And it's not cheating- that's absolutely ridiculous.

I find these comments dismissive, arrogant, condescending, and bordering on offensive. However that's my opinion.

I am not a fan of porn, but I wouldn't have an issue if my husband used it on occasion. However, my current husband does NOT use porn. We've had this conversation when we were dating, and I just asked him again to make sure my memory of his response is correct.
His position is that to use the image of another woman/man while in a relationship to get off feels, to him, like cheating.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 8:51 PM, August 12th (Monday)]

Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.

Posts: 6525 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some men can develop sexual problems from consistently watching porn while masterbating. Evidently they condition themselves physically so they become unable to complete inside a woman?

BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 563 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you don't think it's cheating..and your spouse is fine with it..then good for you and your marriage.

Not cheating? Um..when WH and I were having sex one night with porn on in the background(typical Saturday night for us before the dday),I looked up at him and saw him looking at the screen..I also noticed he had just manuvered me into the same postion as the whore on the screen. EXACT same. My legs were even pointed in the same direction..but he wasn't fucking me while pretending he was with her..right? The position was just a coincidence? He wasn't using my body to masturbate to the whore on the screen..right? (He has since admitted he was doing *just* yeah..I consider that to be a form of cheating)

Some people don't feel kissing another person is cheating. Some people have an open marriage..and don't consider that cheating. Some people probably don't think what my WH did to me was cheating(not talking about the porn here..Im talking about what brought me to SI). Some people don't see EA's as cheating. And some people don't view porn as cheating..but some do. What is acceptable and isn't considered cheating in your marriage may work for you...but that doesn't mean it works for every marriage.

[This message edited by confused615 at 12:02 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]

FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 7678 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
♀ Member
Member # 29265
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes porn does make me insecure. But only since he cheated on me.

Cheating doesn't just ruin the trust in a relationship, it changes your views on things in life. It has certainly changed my view on porn.

Together 14 yrs
BW - Me
WH - Him
3 Children
DD 20th June 2010 actual affair was early 2008 for roughly 10 wks.

Posts: 246 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Porn is now deal breaker for me and he knows it.

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 943 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♂ New Member
Member # 39545
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I liked porn, my wife did not. My wife is the one who cheated, so you can't blame porn for all the trouble in marriages. Anything taken to extreme is a negative, whether it's watching tv looking at porn or working. A healthy balanced life leaves room for a few pleasures.

Posts: 21 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Florida
♀ Member
Member # 39871
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H use to watch porn any free time he had. Instead of wanting to be with me. He rathered watch porn and pleasure him self. I started to feel ugly. Because it didn't matter how dressed up or how well I kept my self up. He was still turning to porn . there's no way I could compete with air brushed, photo shopped, implants women on porn. He would come home from work with jism stains in his underwear and the bottom of his shirt. When I would confront him. He'd tell me he jerked off at work watching porn.

He started ignoring me and insulting my weight. I'm 5'8 and 160 lbs.. Not bad for having 6 kids. So I thought. When I wanted to make love he'd become very rough and out to space. I asked him over and over again to cut down on the porn and more time with me. Finally in 2012, after seeing him watch little 16 yr olds shaking their asses on youtube. Then denying that he didn't know they weir that young. We fought about it. He said he would cut down. I just wish he'd quit.

A woman needs a man..Like a fish needs a Bycicle.

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 47
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