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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: No pain!
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know this is still a rollercoaster, but at almost 10 months I can say that I am feeling no pain right now.

I went away on vacation to my folk's house, unexpectedly without my H, and had a chance to get back on my feet emotionally. H was great while I was gone. He has been great since I got back. I told him this weekend that I'm starting to feel that he has truly changed for good. He was very happy to hear that and agrees completely.

I have not triggered or mentioned the A since I returned. Hours go by without my thinking of it. If I do I can quickly change the channel in my mind.

We had another lovely weekend this weekend; we are so happy together right now.

I understand that it is not over, but wanted to report that it is possible, at least for some, for the pain to take a break!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1710 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is nice to read positive posts like this. I am only 5 weeks out today, and occasionally the clouds will part for a moment or two. Occasionally I'll actually feel happiness, and then I wonder if I am in denial, haha.

Ironically, some things in my marriage are going better than they have in a long time with all of this focused attention. But, as Dickens said: "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, . . . "


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1744 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Knowing
♀ Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with you. 10 months out and starting to feel like myself again (I honestly never thought I would). The pangs and twinges are fewer and farther between. The A and our recovery from it isn't the only thing I think about anymore.

Once I stopped spending my entire day in bed around the 7 month mark, I knew I was getting better but I never expected to feel this "normal" just a few months later.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 697 | Registered: Oct 2012
TXBW68
♀ Member
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with you! It's been 5 months since he's been back home. I'm finally able to go for a day or 2 without thinking "You are the SOB that cheated on me and destroyed our family."

I look at him now and see the man that I fell in love with 21 years ago. My best friend. My sons' Daddy. Not that evil shell of a person he was for so long.

It's hard to hear when you first find out, but Time is really the biggest requirement to get thru the pain.

Hope you have many more happy days!


Me (45) WH (42),2 boys 14 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 784 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

10 months out here...and feel very much the same as you!!! Great news!

It does us good to stop and recognize these positive feelings when they happen.

Thanks for posting...I know each situation is different, but I do draw comfort from others with similar DD feeling similarly as I do. I commend bionicgirl that at 5 weeks out she has some peace too! Wasnt my time schedule but glad she is getting glimpses of this feeling too.

God be with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3411 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1710 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Topic Posts: 7

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