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Newest Member: BetterMindset (45337)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Another DDay- this time I'm out!!!!
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Won't go into the sorrid details but, found out that my WH has NEVER stopped his A. And now he is telling her he loves her and wants to have a family with her.

I am so sick to my stomach. We were making some progress. Had some setbacks. I'm not completely surprised by this.

Today, I am filing for divorce. It is a sad day for me but, i refuse to let myself be disrespected another second.


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 525 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry to hear this.
i refuse to let myself be disrespected another second

Good for you.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4003 | Registered: Dec 2011
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry feelingfoolish. Many hugs to you.

Sometimes there is relief from finally knowing the path to take.

I wish you strength and ultimate happiness.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1748 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay strong.

((((fellingfoolish))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7679 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((FF))))
Sending you much strength.

He has shown you who he is, and now you can take some peace in knowing you gave it all you could.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8707 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
pmal64
♀ Member
Member # 13551
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hugs to you. I am so sorry.


.:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:.
BS-me-50
fWH -54

Posts: 576 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: down south
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Frustrated  Posted: 9:02 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Feeling

I am so sorry that you have found yourself in this place again.

Follow your instincts and do what you need to do to protect yourself and your family.

Sending healing hugs and prayers.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1190 | Registered: Apr 2013
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all of you. I really need strength today. It has been a long past few days.

And to top it off, my mom has to have open heart surgery this week---Yayyy me.

[This message edited by feelingfoolish at 9:23 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 525 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
NoTriangles
♀ Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

False R is possibly the worst hell ever and I am so sorry you are hurting.

i refuse to let myself be disrespected another second.

Absolutely!! You most certainly deserve better and enough is enough.

Sending you strength and healing energy for your Mom.


Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
naivegirl
♀ Member
Member # 14234
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending positve vibes to you. I would also mention the facebook hacking to your lawyer when you go to file.


Me BS 39
Him WH 38

D-day #1 Jan 31 2007
D-Day #2 March 25 2007
Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb
Roll on we're on borrowed time
-Kid Rock

Working on Re


Posts: 1743 | Registered: Apr 2007
AlwaysBeenStrong
♀ Member
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FF, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Stay strong! I had many other life tribulations, on top of the A...losing family, and furbabies (to me those are my babies), but I still kept my head held high. Good luck and stay strong!!!!


BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
HurtButHopeful?
♀ Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((feelingfoolish)))))


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
Dare2Trust
♀ Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry.
I hope your Mom does well with her surgery.

((((hugs)))))


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6133 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I filed the paperwork with the court. Now, he will have to be served. We still live in the same house.

Tonight, i am going to tell him i would like him to move out. Also, discuss finances and child custody arrangements. Our son is 15, the other is 21 and is in college.

I don't anticipate this going well at all.


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 525 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((FF)))))

Let his woman-child have him - dump his shit on her doorstep.

FTG.

This just breaks my heart - so many years and such a wonderful gift you gave to him -

You're right - enough is enough. We're here for you...please keep us posted.

When you say it will not go well, do you fear you will be harmed? Please have someone with you if that's the case.

Hugs...


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,22 mo.& 2 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5078 | Registered: May 2007
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Shocked  Posted: 2:08 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay strong and know that you are doing the right thing for you and your family.

This is the consequence of your husband's horrid choices.

You have given him multiple opportunities to be an honorable man and father and he has chosen to disregard those chances.

This now stops because you says it stops. Done. He is no longer worth your attempts to reconcile or put up with his lies and the OW's psychotic behavior.

Stick to your guns and know that we are all here rooting for you.

(((hugs)))


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1190 | Registered: Apr 2013
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't fear for my safety. I think he is going to yell and fuss. There is nothing he can say at this point.

He has lied so much to me, i wouldn't believe anything he said anyways.


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 525 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strength to you.
It's so pathetic when these 40+ y.o. men actually believe that the 20- something y.o. age group are truly into them and will remain faithful. Ha!

Young howorker: "What do you mean, Old Hubby? I can't go clubbing with my friends and stay over at my other sex friend's house? You are so mean, daddy, err, I mean Hubby!"


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry.

It's never completely wasted effort - you've learned that you can overcome something horrendous like this. Look, you've already filed and moved on to the next step. It's not going to be easy, but you sound so strong.

Sending big hugs and support.

(((feelingfoolish)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17833 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs feeling foolish.
I am in your situation, although a few weeks further in.
Stay strong sweetie.
That first week I honestly thought I was losing my mind.
Stay busy, take care of you and your kids.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
Topic Posts: 39
Pages: 1 · 2

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