Only answering her once, is progress. Look how many times you used to answer her calls.
Not many of us can go cold turkey with NC. The next time she contacts you is an opportunity to start NC all over again and break your previous record.
I could be wrong, but I wonder if she feels distance and is trying to reel you back in again?
I'm glad you are aware of her shenanigans.
For a time, nearly ExH came with tears and actually showed emotion, but I think it was play acting and when he was trying to fix things up with OW.
It's terribly hard to become immune, I wish there was a shot for it!
Like Kajem says, every contact she makes is a new chance, though very hard, indeed. I actually have withdrawal symptoms even though I am fully aware of the pain...either way there is pain and I have to choose the "better" one.
She sounds like a great actress.
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
I just told Poppa that Jesus didn't exist, and his response was, "FUCK OFF, 13! YOU KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT RELIGION!"
Poppa really needs to think about WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) in this situation. I'm sure Jesus would scream at the teen as well.
Of course, I want to call and tell Poppa and The Princess to stop bullying my kid. 13 would probably get in shit for sending me that text, but I'm wondering if this is really a time for me to practice my crickets, or if I need to deal with this situation.
Poppa has always had a foul mouth, and 13 has had him figured out for years. I remember at age four 13 told me, "Poppa doesn't know as much as he thinks he does."
13 made some jokes with me after the first text, so I know this isn't all that surprising or upsetting for him, but it just ain't right.
Should I call The Princess to discuss?
However, I don't think it will make a bit of difference either way.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
They've always thought Poppa was a curmudgeon, and have just let him away with shit like this forever. If I say anything, they'll all just think I'm crazy!
Crickets friend. Reasoning hasn't helped thus far - it won't help now.
Help your son - those other two fuckturds are not worthy of your energy.
It won't happen again. I promise. Next time she starts to weep and fall toward me, I'll step aside and let her hit the carpet.
yes, it made me giggle, too.
Tomorrow when I drop off the boys, we need to talk about 10. Nothing serious, we'll discuss it then.
In the five months since I moved out, this is only the second time I've been alone for a weekend, and she contacted me EVERY DAY with shit like this! I gave her crickets this time, but it didn't stop me from stressing about it.
She drops the boys off in four hours. Should I address this with her?
ETA: She did the same thing when I went to my open stage last week. It's like she's TRYING to ruin any possible fun I could have.
[This message edited by pass at 6:27 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)]
If she tries to discuss 10 you ask her to put it in writing - all comms in writing from now on. You don't have to defend or justify it. When she goes off:
"I hear what you are saying but I disagree. I am insisting on all communication via text or email except in case of medical emergency".
If she says "you don't answer me" - you just keep repeating "all communication via text or email - I have made this clear. It is not up for discussion".
Repeat until she leaves.
No mention of the harassment at the weekend. Nothing. End of story. Goodbye. Please leave.
DO NOT LET HER GOAD YOU.
Purge it all here when she is gone. Think about what you are going to post. Do not say anything further to her no matter what she says.
Make sure you have VAR or your phone recording in case she tries to pull anything. I have several recordings of discussions with the sad clown - in the early days I listened to them to remind myself of the fuckery I was avoiding by maintaining NC.
IMO its time. High time.
ETA next time you have free time you have a friend vet the texts - they can delete anything that is not a medical emergency.
Close the bakery friend - there's an emotional bakery as well as a physical one. Burn that fucker down.
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 6:47 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)]
Told her that I only want to hear complaints about the boys for sickness or injury. No more "They're lucky to be alive!" texts.
Her reaction: Her face started to show rage, then it switched to sadness, then she started weeping. "I didn't know I was so annoying!"
Weep, weep, weep some more.
She was obviously trying to figure out the best way to make me feel bad. Didn't work. I should have just sent her a text like y'all told me to. I'm a slow student.
We'll see how this works.
ETA: I always think that all these things can be solved just by talking sensibly. That's rarely the case with her.
[This message edited by pass at 10:15 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)]
There is no reasoning with crazy. You know this. You'll drive yourself crazy trying.
Watch the drama increase now that she knows she can get a rise out of you this way. Oh man.
If its any consolation I had to learn the hard way too. It felt wrong to not advocate for my girls and stand up for myself until I realised my energy was completely wasted in his direction and I didn't have to convince him to agree to my boundaries anymore - I just had to live them.