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Newest Member: Jmem8212 (44739)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Why do I get the OW rabbit hole urge when I'm anxious?
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm writing this to keep from googling an OW because I know it will make me feel like shit if I do. Everything's fine with my H and me. I'm anxious about work stuff, insurance, the house we're building, money. Not my marriage, nothing to do with this random chick. So why am I fighting to urge to google her? Am I nuts?


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6672 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
ItsaClimb
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're not nuts, well if you are then I am too!

I think it's about vulnerability... the minute I am anxious about anything at all, it seems to magnify my other vulnerabilities. I get anxious about...whatever... makes me feel sort of vulnerable and needy, that gets me obsessing about the A, that gets me obsessing about OW... and there we go! I also think that "researching" the OW gives me a feeling of some sort of control - I know it's NOT the case (I have no control over anything A related I get that), but that's the way it feels.


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 948 | Registered: Oct 2012
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you ItsaClimb - I just got a bunch of work dropped on my desk, so that should keep me busy. Urge is passing - it's so self-defeating, ugh!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6672 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Topic Posts: 3

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