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Newest Member: whatdoido21 (45321)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Rugswept and Not Allowed to Express Feelings
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I admire you. I've been in that conversation several times now, and I always give in when he starts making the promises and crying. I'm not strong enough. But you are strong enough. You stood up for yourself. Be proud of yourself.

I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain. ((((((hugs)))))))

30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1205 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Frustrated  Posted: 11:04 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that you are hurting but you did the right thing even if it hurts like hell.

You can't fix him. He has to want to fix himself and not just because he is scared because he truly wants to change and be a better man. He isn't close to having that amount or level of humility.

The text you posted shows he is an egotistical person who is only concerned about his self gratification.

I loved your comment when you said look it up. Exactly. Tell him to google "how to help your wife heal from your affair" - he will get several links.

He is making no effort because he hasn't had to.

It is now time for him to grow up. He doesn't understand what a small, terrible human being he is. To cheat the day after your wedding, really? And he thinks you just need to get over it? Mind blowing.

Stay strong. It is hard but it is the right thing to do.

We are here for you. We care.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1182 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I ask him his reason simply is, "I just wanted to do it because I would never be with another woman again".

Some logic there (not). Guess that means you were entitled to run out and do it too? Bet you never got that memo.

Just wanted to reach out and let you know to keep being strong. It is hard as heck sometimes but YOU CAN DO THIS.

I remember when I was very new on here and thinking I would never make it through, sometimes I would go and lurk around the NB forum just so I could get a glimmer of hope from people who survived (and thrilled).

The validation I got on this board early on was SOOO instrumental in my process. Just having someone to listen to your story and give you a rational reply helps offset all their smoke-blowing BS.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.

Posts: 2173 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Topic Posts: 43
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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