MrH and I are in a disagreement.
His dad invited himself to stay for a week, starting the same day MIL invited herself up.
MrH said no, not then and not for a week. I've been asking when the "blessed event" will be scheduled and we discussed the 30th or 31st through the 4th.
Last night MrH casually mentions he's taking Friday off. Apparently he's driving down with DS to get FIL on Friday, coming back up Saturday and bringing FIL back late or Sunday the next week. I say that's a week.
In some screwed up world of logic, MrH is claiming it's NOT a week. I suppose if you count the 6-7 hour travel time he thinks you don't count that day, no matter how early they come or late they stay. He's also claiming he didn't change the dates on me. I'm sure this is FIL, he's forceful and MrH has only recently begun standing up to both parents.
I cannot be around that man for a week. The three days we were around him for Christmas nearly did me in. He's mellowed with age, but the fact is I have nearly two decades of emotional abuse from the man. He may not do it in front of the kids, but it's still having someone who tore you down in your house without apologies or acknowledgement.
MrH wanted to talk while I was writing this and what I learned is he truly believes he told me the dates he's saying now. I remember it starting no earlier than the 31st and him leaving the 5th. Which is more in line with MrH saying it would be less than a week.
What I am taking away from this is if I ever end up joining the folks in D/S I will get a clearly defined MSA and if it's not on the iCal, it's not happening. Maybe he's not deliberately gaslighting me. Maybe he truly believes the dates haven't changed. I remember pulling up the calendar and saying, "Yes, I can live with that. And that night I have a thing at church to go to so I don't care if he's here, I'm going." It's a gathering for my friend suffering from ALS. That date is stuck in my head so I know I'm remembering pretty accurately.
We also have a birthday party, a gathering for my volunteer group and a couples group thing scheduled right in those extra days...I don't see how I wouldn't have brought that up.
I don't know what I'm looking for now. I'm just emotionally wrung out and my entire plans for the day have changed....as well as the week. "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
❣Your soulmate is the person who helps grow your soul into a better being rather than tearing it down❣