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Newest Member: conflictedcolleg (44943)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How quickly things change.
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me thinks he's trying to hide something...

It sounds like that is EXACTLY what he is doing, under the pretense of wanting to keep your support the same because he is "used" to it and he such a kind-hearted and compassionate fellow, don't you know...

You are following the agreement, as you should, and as should he. Nothing adversarial there at all. Just because he (apparently) is not going to like the outcome is not your problem.

Keep walking the path...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1106 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd let him know that you are sorry but your lawyer has recommended the action so that it doesn't come back on you down the road. If Alimony is supposed to stop in 5 years, it should stop.

And, as was pointed out, alimony is taxable as income to the payee and deductible to the payer so getting the amount as child support would be beneficial to you in the long run.

That, in and of itself, may be part of the reason he's balking. He also may be making substantially more money now and could afford to pay more to support his children.

I'd tell him he's just going to have to deal with it. And you should NOT be throwing money back at him when the kids are with him. Your bills do not stop at home just because they aren't there. That money he pays you was figured in for the full year with the knowledge that part of the time they'd be with him. If you were supposed to be giving some back, it would be in the divorce decree. The money belongs to your kids. Not to you, not to him. If you don't need it, put it in a savings account for college. Don't give it back to him.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4089 | Registered: Sep 2005
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I heard in his email to you was:

"It's not fair!! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh"

Tuff shit.

And I agree he's hiding something, like a huge pay raise.


Posts: 3383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's compromise. Why not just keep going with the alimony? I think it'll likely be a wash either way, based on calculations, from what you get today.

You get taxed on alimony, not CS. The alimony was supposed to end after 5 years. To end it legally and properly is the right thing to do. To NOT do that might bite you in the butt further down the line.

But better not to waste the legal fees. I'm so used to the deduction - I don't notice either way - and didn't even think about it until earlier this summer when you mentioned it.

Proof that you DID give him a heads up that this was going to be happening.

The only thing that I will ask is that you help send some support back my way when the kids are here.

Again, CS is set up for the year and divided into installments. It takes into account the amount of time each parent has the children.

It seems fair - your compensation stays the same, no need for attorney fees. And no need for any issues.

I'm used to what it is, and I think it's fair both ways.

No, it won't necessarily be the same. There are tax issues to be considered. There is accuracy is the CS amount to be considered. CS should be reviewed every three year or if there is a 20% change in income for either parent (as I used to understand it).

Let me know what you think.
= Do what I want.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3081 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is definitely hiding someone and doesn't want to pay more. Get the alimony stopped so you don't have to pay taxes on it.

Please update us... I can't wait to knows what he is hiding.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 638 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Mommato4
♀ Member
Member # 15906
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just talked to my lawyer:

He did get a lawyer. They didn't object to the alimony termination so that is done, but asked for 21 days for his financial paperwork regarding child support. They also had a cross motion for something regarding that. I'm not clear on what it is. My lawyer said its a standard thing done in these cases. I wonder if its because he told me about his job being on the chopping block.

We will see.


Updated 2014:
BS-me 41
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids
Divorced-7/25/08

SO-5 years together-he decided to end it by cheating too


Posts: 1378 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
chikastuff
♀ Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well if he has a job at the time of the hearing then he's on the hook for his current income. End of story. They can't argue that his job is on the chopping block so he should pay less. And if he purposely takes severance to leave the court will find out about it. Underemployment isn't something they take lightly.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
Mommato4
♀ Member
Member # 15906
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re reading his emails again I think I figured out his motion.

He wants a court order for me to pay back some CS when he has them in the summer.

My gut says that's it.


Updated 2014:
BS-me 41
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids
Divorced-7/25/08

SO-5 years together-he decided to end it by cheating too


Posts: 1378 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I doubt they'll give him child support back over the summer but let him try. You've been giving him some anyway.

How funny that despite his email to you, he went and got a lawyer. Has he always been the master of the stall tactic?


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4089 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

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