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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When someone is interested in you & their name is the same as ex
Griefstricken25
♀ Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It would be weird at first, but I have a good friend with the same name as WXH and for some reason, it sounds different when I'm referring to or thinking of him.

I wouldn't write him off at first. At least get to know him a little.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2509 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I accidentally call an SO by the "name" in my head for WXH, I will be apologizing for calling him an asshole motherfucker. Some people change THEIR name when they divorce; I changed his.
OMG, caregiver - that is AWESOME.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25316 | Registered: Aug 2011
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@ Care...

t/j when my BFF and I were texting about ex a long time ago...her phone autocorrected "That Fuck" to "That Duck".

We now just roll with it.

Has the ducker quacked today?
What the Duck?
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...

Also enables me to talk in code about the ducker in front of the kids.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4141 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I couldn't do it. At least not yet. Waffle has a pretty common name, first and last. There's more than one column of them in the old school phone book. I rarely used his name, but the mental association would be too strong.

It did turn out that waffle has the same name (first and last) as MOW's first H.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 737 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I accidentally call an SO by the "name" in my head for WXH, I will be apologizing for calling him an asshole motherfucker. Some people change THEIR name when they divorce; I changed his.

@ CG, he will always be Stretch and Skew to me. That story is quickly spreading throughout Sydney. This is how urban legends begin...


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5557 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Mandilwen
♀ Member
Member # 27186
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex and son have the same name. It's sort of common and doesn't bother me at all. SO name is very similar, and I've feared calling him by the ex's name since I talk with both frequently. Luckily, SO knows I'm bad with that, and I have even accidentally mixed the dog or cat's name in while hollering for a human, lol! Thankfully I have never erred their names!


BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Indy
foxglove
♀ Member
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My current SO and my XH have the same name. I think it is a fairly common name in the 50 year old crowd. Doesn't bother me at all, in fact has been helpful at certain moments!


Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1453 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
ExposedNiblet
♀ Member
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XH's name isn't a common one.

If someone was interested in me that had the same name...I'd consider it Divine Intervention and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

No way, Jose.


Divorced
Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.


Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know so many of you deal with asshole Xs, especially those with young children. I will have to qualify my response by saying it probably does not apply in your situtations, but for someone older like me or perhaps childless, if you were bothered by a name, I would say that you were in no way healed from your experience and not ready for dating.

I never liked the X's name but I'm pretty sure if I met an awesome guy with that name, I could handle it.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20154 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
259
♀ Member
Member # 22860
Default  Posted: 1:38 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tj: for cmego about the duck.

my friend texted me that my ex was an asswhole.... then straight away sent me another saying that she knew it was spelt wrong but it was OK cause he was a whole ass

yup she called that one right


Me = FBS
Him = gone


things that happen in my life do not define who I am. I get to choose to be the best I can be, for me. cause I'm worth it.


Posts: 286 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: my happy place (most of the time)
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before I met xh , the 4 or 5 guys i dated all had x's first name. I also dated them in alphabetical order.

I think I need to go a bit further in the alphabet.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5070 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same name and birthdate would bother me. It would be really hard to get over either of those.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kajem

ex-asshat's name isn't odd but it's an "older" name and you don't see it much. (It's also XFIL's name and the oldest banana's name.)

That said, put me in the "no way" camp. Maybe it's not fair to all the other nice ones out there but I associate way too much heartache with that name. I couldn't go there.

A friend of mine has an H with the same name as her XH. We've always referred to them as ET ("Evil Todd") and NT ("New Todd").

[This message edited by wildbananas at 10:34 AM, July 28th (Sunday)]


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15393 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
peacelovetea
♀ Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My best friend married a guy with the same name as her Dad. THAT would bug me.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
willowiris
♀ Member
Member # 5372
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my best friends married two Mikes. (She divorced them both.) She starts her stories "When i was married to Mike #2..."

My ex is also Mike/Michael. Through the seventies and eighties, the name was #1 in popularity. I have managed to avoid dating another one, somehow. I have dated the most Marks since my divorce, I guess, though not all of them turned into relationships.

I guess I wouldn't rule out dating another Mike if i met one who were any good, but it hasn't happened yet, so that's good, i guess.


D-day 09/2004
Filed for divorce 9/2006

We accept the love we think we deserve. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."


Posts: 12326 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: Margaritaville
Topic Posts: 35
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