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Newest Member: KingHit4Six (44888)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Hispanic or Asian Women?
BrokenSpirit50
♀ Member
Member # 34485
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crushedheart09 please don't leave SI like many others have mentioned it is very difficult to express mood or feelings through words sometimes. No offense taken.


If I may change or lighten this discussion a little. I have not dated outside my race until recently. I am white and was matched with a black man on e-harmony who contacted me. After many e-mail and phone conversations we decided to meet. We seemed to have a lot of values and interests in common. He asked me if I have ever dated a black man before and I said no but, to me I view people as people, he is a man, I am a woman. Just from our conversations about family, work and past history he sounded like someone I'd really like to meet. We have been seeing each other for a short time but I have to say I am really enjoying our time together. We embrace our cultural differences and sometimes have a good laugh over them. We live in two opposite worlds. I live in an area where you don't have to lock your doors or, I can leave keys in my car (I don't) but, he lives in an area where he won't let me drive alone to his house, he will bring me to and from his house (he is a sheriff). He treats me like a queen.


I guess the point I am trying to make is seeing him has enriched my life in ways I have never expected and allowed my soul to grow.


Best of luck to you.


Me BS 54
Him WH 55
M 32 yrs - together 40 yrs
Kids 0
D-Day 12-18-11 (WH didn't want to R)
Divorced 6-21-12 Done!

If the grass is greener on the other side....water your own lawn.


Posts: 239 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Midwest
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think anyone was condemning him for being attracted to specific races.
I think some of us were suggesting that he be more cautious in his approach, since the way it was stated could be offensive to some.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember years ago, a woman posted how she hoped she met a Latin man because she thought they would be hot lovers. If they would have had icon faces in those days there would have been laughing and goofy ones posted by every woman who gave the "you go girl" response. I distinctly remember this because it was a trigger for me.

I get the responses that Crush got...although some could have been gentler but
There was not one indignant "how could you" to this woman and I doubt there would have been one today. What was/is the difference?


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 557 | Registered: Jun 2011
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I guess I don't see the issue with it. We all have our preferences....brown hair, green eyes, tall, short, big, small, etc...Why can't ethnicity or race be a preference as well?"

^^THIS!!
Oh goodness, I wish people wouldn't be so sensitive! Don't try to defend someone else's "honor" or whatever it is here.

Would the first person to comment mention they were offended if he said he was looking to date a majority race...say Caucasian? He could also be Caucasian, but living in Puerto Rico perhaps.

I didn't see a single thing wrong with saying he was looking to meet/date specific race because he thought they were interesting. I think I am interesting. :) I didn't feel objectified and I don't want someone suggesting I should be offended by my race being labeled interesting! Wasn't an insult in my opinion.

[This message edited by I.will.survive at 7:22 AM, July 25th (Thursday)]


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a huge kink for Eurasian men.

Just sayin'.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5548 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would the first person to comment mention they were offended if he said he was looking to date a majority race...say Caucasian?

Actually, I would. I've turned guys down from OLD because they are only willing to date white women (I am white).

Crushed clarified later that he wants to expand his horizons. That I find admirable. However, his initial wording was, the way it read to me, incredibly offensive. We react to the way things are written on a message board.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13732 | Registered: Jul 2011
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what I find offensive is how quickly people judge on here. No one said they wanted to "only"date anyone. I say if your offended find out what the hell someone means before you jump down their throat. I have also followed this site since 2006 and I can say with all honestly that if a woman had written what Crush had written there would not have been one negative comment...see my example above. The only difference between that example and this situation is that one was a man and one was a woman. This is the very reason I got off this site for so many years I couldn't remember what my screen name was. I honestly feel there is such an anger on here towards men...and I get that...that the bias is evident. Shit I'm out of here also.

[This message edited by asurvivor at 8:35 AM, July 25th (Thursday)]


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 557 | Registered: Jun 2011
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

asurvivor got it right....sorry ladies. I see it a lot on here from a man's perspective. There's a huge difference how men think about this subject than women I believe. If a guy hears a Ltino or Asian woman say.."I like white Irish guys, I'm really attracted to them and think they are hot", the men would be more than flattered because it's a boost to our egos. I know I would be. But many women on the other hand get offended if it were reversed and said about them. Sad but true.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1465 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I honestly feel there is such an anger on here towards men...and I get that...that the bias is evident.

I'm not sure about an anger towards men, but I've definitely seen some have a double standard. For example, the attitude towards men dating younger women vs women dating younger men. Or, have a man post a pic of a hot woman and see how many woman are "offended", yet we see women post pics of hot men all the time and nobody says anything.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13744 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 9:59 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone -

Giving your opinion is fine, attacking someone to the point of them leaving is not.

Please post respectfully.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
yewtree
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coming back to this post...
I guess if you were a person of a certain ethnicity, and you were "lumped" together with allll of the other people in your "group," you might wince a little when once again, you are one of "them." I simply asked the original poster not to lump us together.

I am attracted to men of a certain type but holy cow, I know you are not all alike!

No reason to leave SI. I simply stated that it was awkward and bordered on being offensive.

Everyone has preferences, whether they realize it or not. And yeah, had I not gotten my knickers in a knot over the wording, I would have encouraged Crushed to follow up on some of the suggestions of the other posters.

When we respond to these posts, we bring our whole self into how we read what we are reading. I work in a very culturally sensitive and PC environment. Obviously, I brought my work head into my response.

Sorry if I scared you away Crushed...


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4659 | Registered: Oct 2007
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That I find admirable. However, his initial wording was, the way it read to me, incredibly offensive. We react to the way things are written on a message board.

And this is why I hate texting! Everything you put can be taken out of context.

Now, I agree with what crushed said.. It is interesting to learn about different cultures, food, language, ect. How else could you put it?

If I said " I find that fish interesting, its different, I like the colors on it, very beautiful, I would to learn more on that fish".
Would that be horrible?

Learning about other people and where they come from and to express how attractive they are to us is not bad.

I am white with mongo in me, my wh is black and indian, my kids are bi-racial. Our whole family is blended with different back rounds and race. It is a beautiful family. I love knowing that people are learning to get over their fears and wanting to get to know someone other than who looks like them.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2661 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 32
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