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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just an update of sorts
tearsofblood1
♂ Member
Member # 34392
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has been several weeks since I have posted anything. So an update is due.

Things remain in year two limbo. I have found some hope in posts from doesitgetbetter. Most recently one response could be my wifes mentality to a t. at around 10 months or so (july of last year), my wife wanted a seperation, and to date remains unsure of what she wants. if she wants the marraige to work, or if she wants to move on. she has given up on the marraige. very similar to the post i referred to earlier. i have hope in the fact that at around 2.5 years, healing and forgiveness happened. maybe ( actually definitely) there may be no guarantee that will be the timeframe my wife takes. but i sure hope its pretty darn close. we are both lonely, and need affection. but she is not ready for that with me yet which i totally respect.

at times i do become frustrated with her inability to see herself as being wrong for her past, ( my story is posted). but i do understand why dealing with my a has been difficult for her. we process things differently. i have forgiven her totally for her a's and honestly do not give them a thought at all. everyone is different.

i can only hope that if i continue to work on myself, and continue to do the things i need to do to get her to see me for who i have become not my past. maybe it will happen. the hole point of trying is not giving up no matter what. so i am in it for the long haul.

september will be two years since dday. it should be a tough month. i anticipate it being worse than last year.

time and persistence hopefully win out, and she begins to turn her anger and resentment towards me around.

stories like doesitgetbetters have helped me tremendously. thank you.


We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

Posts: 127 | Registered: Jan 2012
doesitgetbetter
♀ Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad that my story could help! This is exactly why I come back to post, and this is why it's wonderful when long term people come back to post. I feel that if I can help someone else, then I am using my pain for good and that makes it feel that much better. That didn't sound right, but I think you understand what I mean.

Be there for her, do as she asks regarding doing or not doing something on the anti, and keep being honest and open with each other. It IS possible to have a better marriage than either of you have experienced before. These infidelities that you've both had have now come out completely, and it's now time to make your M what you've both wanted it to be from the beginning.

I wish you the best of luck in both of your journey's!


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad to hear you are working on yourself, your healing, and your marriage. You sound dedicated and 100% in.

Posts: 35929 | Registered: Mar 2011
tearsofblood1
♂ Member
Member # 34392
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I am all in. Even though I know she isn't there mentally. I truly beleive that given time tht will change. Is it possible it doesn't change? Of course.

But if your not positive in the most difficult situations then you are already defeated.


We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

Posts: 127 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 4

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