Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Eyes (45069)

Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 4...
rivenheart
♀ Member
Member # 13838
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

!!!!!

(applause)


rivenheart ~ heartriven
Me: BW, 36 at d-day; WH, 40

Posts: 1037 | Registered: Mar 2007
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Enjoy that stunned look. Revel in the strength you have to know you displayed.

You Da Man!!!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2872 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And here it comes...

A phone message insisting we talk.

Followed two minutes later by a text saying the same and accusing me of evading her.

(Chirp)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice job!!! Have you been working out? I can see you getting stronger from here I bet she can too and that is scarring her sh*tless.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1762 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
woundedwidow
♀ Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there any way you can give any incoming calls/texts from your WS a special (annoying?) ringtone, so that you know NOT to look at your phone right then? It might make it easier to get through the weekend while ignoring the incoming barrage.


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 381 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fourth time she's called.... I have not responded.

I have as her ringtone crickets chirping. :-)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have as her ringtone crickets chirping. :-)

You are my hero today AD...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17413 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Believe it or not, you are commanding she show respect for you & you are respecting yourself not to engage in the mire your wife has made of the marriage.


I am learning a lot by everyone's posts to you. You are showing her the reality of her life w/o you. I know it seems strange to be doing all this, but really strong people do just what you have done.

She knows where help is if she ever wants to change, but when you (and I) "helped" our WS, it was really enabling them.

Keep up the strong you,and just because she "wants" to go into the house doesn't mean she gets to. I think that was what really started to shake WS.
Be calm inside, you are being "real".


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2149 | Registered: Jan 2012
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Believe it or not, you are commanding she show respect for you & you are respecting yourself not to engage in the mire your wife has made of the marriage.


I am learning a lot by everyone's posts to you. You are showing her the reality of her life w/o you. I know it seems strange to be doing all this, but really strong people do just what you have done.

She knows where help is if she ever wants to change, but when you (and I) "helped" our WS, it was really enabling them.

Keep up the strong you,and just because she "wants" to go into the house doesn't mean she gets to. I think that was what really started to shake WS.
Be calm inside, you are being "real".


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2149 | Registered: Jan 2012
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have as her ringtone crickets chirping. :-)

Pragmatically hilarious.


If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, you're a hero. - J. Winger

Posts: 17564 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have as her ringtone crickets chirping. :-)

I did this when ex-shat was throwing his 4 day mantrum when I stopped taking his calls and insisted that he text, email, or talk to his lawywer.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4656 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whew. Got through my co-dependent urge to respond to her calls and texts and now I am going to sleep.

(And even though I told her to email me with whatever is so urgent that demands we talk immediately, ...no email.)

My son just texted me from his mom's apartment that he is having "a horrible time." This is typical. He wants to be home with me. I really hope I am able to win more than 50/50 even if my wife does have a job that enables her to technically be with them 50% of the time.

It's probably nothing serious, but I feel bad. Poor kid. ((She's probably bitchy because I've ignored her.)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
mrmaximum
♂ Member
Member # 15965
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Believe it or not, you are commanding she show respect for you & you are respecting yourself not to engage in the mire your wife has made of the marriage.

Hey Abbondad, just wanted to chime in here and tell you that you are doing more than awesome. Yes, that stunned look was her at a loss when she found that her familiar tactics would no longer work on you. Good for you my man, you've turned a corner in your journey.

I have as her ringtone crickets chirping. :-)

Well done my good man, well done!!!

[This message edited by mrmaximum at 1:00 AM, July 28th (Sunday)]


You do not destroy the ones you love!!!
Best quote EVAR;
"Lose the battle, win the war" EZ4U

Posts: 65 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: Georgetown
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I got a text in the middle of the night: "I have to fly out of town for work unexpectedly. Can you take the kids."

Of course I can--I am happy to.

But I had the kids for six days, she comes back, has them for less than twenty four hours.

And this is the woman who is demanding 50/50.

Just more justification for what I am doing. It never stops piling up.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
rivenheart
♀ Member
Member # 13838
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add it to your documentation.

Does this mean she got the job?


rivenheart ~ heartriven
Me: BW, 36 at d-day; WH, 40

Posts: 1037 | Registered: Mar 2007
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add it to your documentation.
Does this mean she got the job?

It has been documented.

I assume she has taken the job.

I hope so. The kids need the money and I will have them the majority of the time.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBXWW has not officially taken the job.

Says she won't if it means she can't have 50/50.

She asked me if I have an attorney. I told her yes. She is furious, "Can't believe I am doing this, spending all our money on this when she wanted mediation."

I told her I will come for the kids, as she is leaving town today and won't be back until Thursday.

Please, be gentle. I am doing the best I can.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is not furious that you're "wasting money." She is pissed because she knows once attorneys get involved she won't be able to manipulate them,the way she has you.

So..she wants to tke a job where she ill be traveling quite a bit..yet thinks she should have 50/50 custody?

And..she thinks she's a good mommy...despite the porn pic her son found of her that she sent to the man she was cheating on daddy..and her kids..with..then took these kids to meet this POS?

She is delusional.

NCNCNC.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7499 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
rivenheart
♀ Member
Member # 13838
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guess she shouldn't have cancelled the mediation meeting if she wanted it so bad, huh?

Her fury is irrelevant. Ignore it. And I'm guessing too that her threat not to take the kids if she can't have them 50/50 is a bluff. If the wording you report is what she used, the "officially" is a giveaway. My guess is she's accepted the job. In any case, she can't handle them 50/50 now, presumably before she's begun the new job. So she's unlikely to get 50/50 anyway. Once she realizes that, she'll have no reason to turn down the job.

Bottom line is, she can do what she wants wrt the job. You can't control that decision, so don't waste mental energy on it. But you can keep documenting what actually happens, including the picture of her tits, and present that in D proceedings. I'm guessing you end up with more than 50% regardless.

No 2x4's here, but don't give her any more information than you already have. You don't HAVE to respond to her questions or anything she says. You CAN simply not communicate with her.


rivenheart ~ heartriven
Me: BW, 36 at d-day; WH, 40

Posts: 1037 | Registered: Mar 2007
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I'm guessing asking you to take the kids was what was so important that she "needed" to talk to you about.. And she wanted to "say" it instead of "write" it, so there wouldn't be solid proof of it.. You did great dad, email/text ONLY, so now there's proof of her asking and you obliging..

My POS tried this just a couple months ago. He texted me some polite things, then said he wanted to "talk" about the schedule at the dropoff. I told him "No, just email me your request." So he said "nevermind" and bitched me out. Then the kids come home that night angry with me that I told the POS "no" to a schedule change he never even asked me about, and I come to find out that he wants me to drop off the kids with MOW at a comic book store so they can play in a hero clix tournament (he can't take them since he works). Um, hell to the no, and screw him for trying to make me look like the bad guy, knowing I would say "no" in front of the kids. And screw him double time for bashing me to them with more of his lies..

You're doing great dad. Keep insisting on email/text only, and you can PM me if you have an iPhone and need a program to download and save all your texts in Excel format..

Hugs..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2249 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Topic Posts: 965
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Lock This Topic is Locked
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.