You need temporary orders stat.
(hope you have all prescriptions at both homes now)
all the best to you
regarding that psychologists report, is this the same one who came slightly unhinged on you? I agree it is time to tell him that your soon to be ex just incapable of communicating with you in any meaningful way. if he is unable to send a duplicate copy to you directly, it's probably best that you find a different counselor.
the meeting she is very concerning to me.
strength especially tonight.
As the dad, he has the right to the kids' health records, including mental. However, I am not obligated to fill him in unless there's something of an emergency basis. He can get the information on his own. My obligation is to provide him the counselor's name & contact info. Done.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
Another wonderful weekend of duplicitousness has begun:
Behind my back (the only way she knows how to operate) STBXWW changed our DD's pre-paid college account to be deducted from her personal account.
This is in "retaliation" for my closing our "joint" account from which this had always been deducted. I closed it because she had long since stopped depositing into it, and all that remained were my funds--which she was using.
I had sent her several Emails asking her to deposit--as I was continuing to do--so I can pay the home bills at our children's house. No response.
Of course this is part of her grand plan to win Mother of the Year: "See, I'm paying for our daughter's college all by myself!"
However, she never consulted me. (Of course I would have said "No way; we both pay for that as we always have.")
The timing of course is ridiculously transparent.
I don't think I can do anything about it, as my STBXWW set up the account in her name (I'm the survivor, our DS the beneficiary)back when we were together, before the A.
But still, how childishly underhanded.
I will inform my attorney, but I guess there is nothing I can do?
DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs
Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.
Or should I wait to talk to my attorney?
Again my plan (mostly for my own sanity) this weekend was to not rock the boat. To document and keep my distance until the hearing for mediation next week, which should put most of these issues to rest--at least temporarily.
ETA: Unless your attorney advises otherwise. :Smile:
[This message edited by GabyBaby at 6:03 PM, September 20th (Friday)]
I agree, just set up an account on your own. That is what I did.
I think I need to clarify: I do have my own account. I transferred all child-related bills and auto-deductions from our "joint" (to which she had stopped contributing) to my own account.
Among the auto-deducts was a monthly deduction to her college pre-paid account.
She called them and switched the auto-deduct from my account to her personal account without a word to me.
Around a month ago we'd argued about this on the phone: she declared, "I will pay for DD's college account."
I replied, "No. We both pay for that as we always have. You don't get to decide what child-associated accounts you, I or we will pay for. We will work that out with our attorneys."
So much for cooperative co-parenting. She continues to do as she wishes.
I wonder if she did this on her own or upon her attorney's advice. I suspect it is the former, as she expressed this to me prior to her retaining an attorney (or at least her newest attorney).
If he did advise her to do this, it seems to me rather stupid advice.
In any case I will take your advice: lay low on this one--it's not a major fight at this point--and wait for my attorney to weigh in.
On another note: I spoke to my DS's psychologist today and informed him that WW does not give me any report on DS's sessions with him. He assured me he would call me after each session.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
Her switching it is not going to give a *leg up* on getting the Mother of the Year award. As I mentioned earlier, it's *yawn-worthy*.
AFAIK college expenses are totally gratuitous. There is no law that says that parents HAVE to pay college expenses (as opposed to something like *child support for minor children), kwim?
I *get* the frustration and pissed-offedness of the whole unilateral changes and decision-making thing from your stbx......trust me. I'm also dealing with this bullshit right now. But now that I think about your newest development, I'm not so sure that I would even bother to bring it up. Your stbxww wants to *choose* to fund that account? More power to her. The only way that *I* would have a problem if stbx tried to do this is if he used that as a way to *up* his monthly expenses.....
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Totally not worth breaking NC or calling your lawyer.
This may be her way of making payments re kids expenses a bit more even, if you're paying $100 in medical expenses for DS and she pays $100 on DDs college fund that way you don't have to reimburse her and she doesn't have to reimburse you.
If by chance you're doing the states prepaid plan-put money aside anyway. Our legislature now designates what that will pay out per credit hour. You will need to make up the shortfall if the college they attend charges more per credit hour. A lot of parents are unprepared for that as we were told it was free tuition when DD was signed up.
[This message edited by Kajem at 6:35 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]
It just angers me that she operates so deceitfully--yet she is the one who whines and complains that I "close the lines of communication" regarding the children. When it is completely the opposite: I keep her informed via Email on EVERYthing. (Often "non-issues" that I shouldn't even have to.) She never responds. It is classic NPD projection and very tough to deal with emotionally.
This weekend I am going to put all my documentation (thus far) together in one binder.
I have over 250 texts, numerous Emails (most of them with no response from her), detailed calendar entries going all the way back to D-day 11/12/12 (awful things she did and said, child exchanges, etc.). I also have numerous cards and letters from her spanning the arc of our marriage declaring what a wonderful husband and father I am. I also have love letters from her AP.
Awhile ago a few of you posted advice about organizing of documentation in hard-copy form. Can we revisit this?
Any suggestions on the best way--for easy reference for myself and/or a judge .
Review for factual data only. remove all editorializing out of the statements.
Compare these two examples:
STBX upset the children with xyz behavior today. Son called me crying, saying he wanted to come home. Heard STBX laughing in the background, as she talked on her cell, completely oblivious to my son's pain.
Instead, facts only:
Son called asking to come home. He was crying. Said XYZ was going on. Said he didn't want to take more medicine. Described nightmares AB and C. Said he didn't feel safe.
date/time of call from which # to which #.(can be substantiated on phone bill)