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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 12
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just want to say Hi guys!

I've avoided ICR because most of the threads have been too confusing and it was hard for me to keep track of a topic. I was drawn here by Tred's Mod request that went to F&G and started reading here - so much for a productive work day between this thread and the Huffinton Post article.

I also lurk a lot in Wayward. I find that I get some kind of unexplainable insight reading some of those threads.

Anyway from doing this today I was able to put two and two together. I just want to extend my support for you Tred. Stay strong man.

I really think that trying to R can be a lot harder than D'ing. I never had a chance to R. She had an obvious exit A - even though she denies it. She had no clue the destruction she caused until her son was forced to go through the same thing when his W cheated on him. I hate that DSS had to go through all this. xWW finally realized for a brief moment what she did but she really still doesn't get it.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3081 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred's Mod

What the hell man? That was a wonderboy thread!

But welcome anyway gahurts. If you ever get lost, just start talking about star wars or star trek, you'll be fine.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OOPS!! My bad!


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3081 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What the hell man? That was a wonderboy thread!

But who made it memorable? I rest my case.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uhhh, the cat pic did!
But whatever. Sniff sniff.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Counselor, the alleged "cat pic" didn't make the thread memorable. It was the REACTION to the cat pic and cleverly worded phrases with a name to the left that made it in their minds. It just like driving down a highway and letting someone pass you so you can follow them. Everybody knows it's the second mouse that gets the cheese


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fine. All hail Tred.
I don't have time to argue this point. I am too busy creating meme's on General.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like you two need a private bathhouse at this point. It IS funny, though.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1608 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Please.
Emphasize the private willya?

trying to R can be a lot harder than D'ing

I agree with this. Unless you've been hosed and lost in boston's ripped tshirt.

Early on, I couldn't control my reactions. Things came over me. Like lying facedown on the livingroom floor sobbing like a broken baby.
I had physiological reactions too (not that sobbing isn't) - infidelity diet?
- waking up in twisted sweaty sheets?
- (name yours here)

The point is, I think, once you get some distance from the concussive blast that was your life, THEN you begin to choose.

I'm sorry I have been gone guys. I've missed so much. I'm plannin on havin some some somethings soon.


Posts: 6019 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB, would love to have a beer with you someday. With all the rest of these clowns. $5 says someone will piss their selves laughing before the nights over. Or just piss themselves outright.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hated not being able to control my reactions.

I came to work shortly after DDAY and couldn't get out of my car because I couldn't stop shaking.

Had to pull over several times while driving due to full body shakes. And I would get them at night too. Really scary stuff, I mean like full body convulsions that would eventually leave me in the fetal position. What a mess.

I still have a weird hand twitch that happens when I get upset or trigger now. But at least the damn shakes are gone.

I agree, the concussive blast is the worst. Of course, after it comes the simmering rage..that was no fun either.

But then you reach about 12 months or so, and systems return to somewhat normal. Which is a nice reprieve.

I know people say the second year is tougher than the first, but hell, second year has been a breeze for me, I don't have to pull over because of the shakes anymore. Maybe I'm just lucky.

[This message edited by wonderboy at 7:43 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the shakes! gawd I hated that shit!
every single time we talked about her affair, I couldn't stop shaking!

still happens every so often but nowhere near the intensity of before.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
Coma
♂ Member
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So Gemtlemen

I have a question.

Why is that one of mens top priority in a relationship based on loyalty?


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 400 | Registered: Aug 2010
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just sat there in a daze for weeks and months on end. And we were in-house separated. I would have to see her every week day and then she would go to OM's house for the weekend or she would spend the night with him and come home to get the kids to school in the morning.

Seriously, it is a major miracle that I did not lose my job. I got nothing done the entire fourth quarter of 2011. I would go int wor and read SI all. damn. day.

I even totalled my truck when I drove right into an on-coming car that I never saw because I was in that daze.

Once she left it was like ripping a band-aide off. It hurt for a little but and then got eaasier each day.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3081 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred and the boys. I would love a menz get together. Seattle in August is pretty nice I hear.

Coma:

Where'd you come up with that? Maybe I'll leave this conversation for smarter men to talk about.

Why does anyone have a priority in a relationship? Are you asking why men strive to be loyal or why men expect a loyal spouse?

And don't women expect the same thing from their husband?

I don't know that I understand exactly what you are getting at.

ETA:
The shakes and the daze. What a mind-fuck. It's tough to pull yourself out of that too. That's the worst part. You didn't put yourself in the hole, but only you can dig yourself back out. Part of the unfairness of it all.

[This message edited by wonderboy at 7:58 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because we're loyal to ourselves? Why do you ask?
What is it about this particular question that niggles you?

(& whothefuckever said that was a top priority?)

Some perfessional?
Look buddy. I gots a duh gree too.


Posts: 6019 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think loyalty is so much a priority, but more an implied part of marriage when you agree to "above no others"

If I wanted multiple partners I wouldn't have got married. I got married because I picked her for the rest of eternity...not her AND the other women in the next cubicle.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Coma
♂ Member
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wonder

I meant it as that men consider by a large percentage to be involved with a loyal woman in the long term or as in marriage?

Talking to others and reading some polls just got me thinking about other guys priorities especially in marriage.


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 400 | Registered: Aug 2010
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm, I have a lot of priorities in my marriage.

I guess loyalty trumps the others, because not fucking someone else is a loyal quality.

But loyalty, for me, goes beyond that. It's things like knowing that your wife always has your back, that she won't talk shit about you to her friends, that she'll stand up for you with her parents. And that she'll be the person who always has your back.

Hmmmm, guess that didn't happen so well.

But those are fundamental issues, in my opinion, to any marriage. not just a menz perspective.

There is also loyalty to the family, knowing that she will do right be the kids and right by herself.

Hmmm..guess that didn't happen so well either.

So to answer you question Coma, I can't. I think the basis for any marriage is loyalty. For me that's what the vows were all about.

But, loyalty is an overriding principal. I wouldn't have made those vows if I didn't value my wife's humor, her spirit, her compassion, her willingness to watch and enjoy all sporting events.

I'm rambling. I'll stop now.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Prepare to be be invaded.
By soulless ones.
SHIELDS UP.

Every man here with wisdom please. They will ask apparently deep questions, seeking strife, to tear us apart.

By exposing us to hp, dear ds & mh have exposed us, themselves to agent provocateurs

who hate love
and family.
Those who hate love and family.

The innocent questionasker
sometimes is not so innocent.

It's already started/


Posts: 6019 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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