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My 10,000th post - You Are Going To Be Ok

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lordhasaplan? posted 11/13/2013 12:40 PM

10,000 posts. that must hurt the fingers!!!!

Thanks for the wisdom....

SummerStorm21 posted 11/13/2013 13:04 PM

Thanks for posting. Good to have something to hang on to. Interestingly for me it was only when I stopped trying to be strong and really did surrender to the situation that I felt any kind of hope in the world again.

Every person walks a similar but unique journey. I am trying to question it less and have faith there will be positives like you mention here.

Jrazz posted 11/13/2013 13:12 PM

10,000 posts. that must hurt the fingers!!!!

Hee hee - I have fingertip callouses - time to learn to play the guitar!

Summer - you make such an excellent point. Sometimes, letting go of trying to control of the situation brings us the peace that we struggle so hard to attain. Faith in the positives can be hard to come by. For me, I need people who have been there already to tell me what's waiting on the other side. That's kinda what inspired me to post this... in case there are other "Just give me the damn map!!" junkies like me.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 1:13 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]

Kaya posted 11/13/2013 14:26 PM

Thank you Jrazz!! I needed this today and now.

Going into our 2nd MC session today in few hours which WH needs to address the A. All day, I am having anxiety about what I am about to hear, but reading your post made me feel that it'll be okay. As painful as it's going to be, it too shall pass eventually right?

Thanks for taking the time to write this for us here.

Jrazz posted 11/13/2013 14:32 PM

You've been through soooooo much, kaya. YOUR strength is an inspiration.

Bigger posted 11/14/2013 17:40 PM

I hope my 10000 post (if I ever reach that milestone) will be as good, sensible and relevant as this one.

Thefly559 posted 11/14/2013 18:45 PM

Thank you ! That was a great post

Jrazz posted 11/20/2013 00:15 AM

I hope my 10000 post (if I ever reach that milestone) will be as good, sensible and relevant as this one.

Thanks Bigger! Let's see... at the rate you're clocking you have about 8 years to draft something. I bet it will be spectacular.

I'm glad you liked the post, Thefly559.

catatonic posted 11/20/2013 08:04 AM

thank you Jrazz
Woke up this morning. Needed a little support from SI. Had very emotional talks with WH last night. Heading to MC today.
You are so eloquent . What a great boost for the day.

Thank You for giving the time, your talent, and experience to share that to those of us trying to figure this out.

Jrazz posted 12/14/2013 21:41 PM

wildbananas posted 12/15/2013 00:07 AM

That was beautiful, razzie.

meredith132 posted 12/15/2013 01:27 AM

Thank you for your timely advice xxxx

Jrazz posted 12/15/2013 12:53 PM

Thanks naners...

That's what I'm really hoping for, meredith132... that someone will be needing to hear that they're going to somehow be ok and then read this and feel better. It's all true.

forgivingnow posted 1/21/2014 07:27 AM


Jrazz posted 1/22/2014 01:58 AM

wifehad5 posted 2/8/2014 05:35 AM

Abbondad posted 2/8/2014 09:10 AM

Thank you for bumping this. I read it when you first posted it, Jrazz, and now I've read it again.

My fear six months to a year ago when I was in unimaginable hell, my most intense fear was indeed this: will I be OK? And I did not even know what "OK" meant. Did it mean I would not kill myself and that would be the best I could hope for? Did it mean I would be able to get through one day without bursting into wailing sobs of grief? Did it mean I would not literally murder the OM?

What it has begun to mean to me is that I finally acted with strength I did not believe I had.

I filed for divorce from the person who brought me and my children pain.

I went back to work.

I was reminded that I am still a man desirable to women.

I sleep through the night.

I am moving to my own home.

I rejected my STBX's feeble attempts to get me back (I.e., return to cake-eating).

I gained back all the weight I lost.

I have plans for my future and feel excitement.

I am a better father than I ever was.

I will make someone a wonderful partner.

I will never permit myself to be treated like this again.

All this--if anyone reading this is still in the early throes of agony--took time, time, time, and more time.

I am and will be OK.

Chickie posted 2/8/2014 17:12 PM

Thank you for writing this Jrazz. I really needed the reminder today.

(And to Wifehad5, thank you for the bump so it was easier to find.)

In light of your comments, I'm now going to find the cat and surrender to the kitteh-snuggles for a bit.

Thank you.

Jrazz posted 2/9/2014 02:10 AM

Ahhh kitteh-snuggles - that is the REAL healing magic! (I get pug-snuggles )

Abbondad - I'm honored that this thread is helpful to you. Your hard work through everything is truly an inspiration.

Jrazz posted 2/21/2014 22:44 PM

Breezy150 posted 2/22/2014 12:11 PM

Beautifully written and absolutely something that gives us newbies hope.

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