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User Topic: Anyone else gain weight in R?
♀ Member
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now I see I have gotten into a dark spot again.....where are those dang twinkies?!?!?!

Ice cream sandwiches are my "go to" so you can mix it up a little!

Just call me Heart. :)
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh yeah.

lost 40lbs quick on the I-diet. then slowwwwwly over 7 years gained it all back and then some.

there were a couple of years inbetween that I looked pretty damned good though .

From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I might be the exception here. I gained about 7 or 8 pounds in the first couple of months after D day.

However in the 7 months before D day I started running and lost 22 pounds. After D day while I was sick to my stomach often I also stopped working out - lost the desire.

I am happy to say once I stopped worrying about us and focused on me, I was able to start working out again and have lost the weight gain plus a pound or two. More than the weight is my health. Started swimming and really feel fit. Actually starting to get a little bit of a swagger/self confidence. But I live in Socal where everyone is supper fit!

Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 675 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
♀ Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was already losing, but in 3 months I lost over 30lbs. Just could not eat.
I am at the same weight I was when I was 16 and it's a "healthy" weight for me although it wasn't lost in a healthy way.
My appetite is returning and my body is craving junky carbs. I know I have to watch what I put in my mouth, but right now I am still eating way less calories than I need to so I eat whatever sounds good.
That will need to change very soon.
None of the work clothes I wore in May fit me anymore. I have dropped 3 sizes. I go back to work next week for the fall so I guess a new wardrobe is in order?
Thanks, honey! /sarcasm

I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I gained almost 20 lbs during the A and the aftermath, and I started out way overweight. I'm starting to take it off now.

W lost weight during her A. I wish it had been because of guilt, but it wasn't. She was afraid ow would out her, so she couldn't sleep or eat. She was below 92 lbs on a 5'2" or 5'3" frame.

One of her requirements for R was to reach and maintain a healthy weight, which she has done.

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well in the first 2 months lost about 20 lbs but since I have gained about 70lbs.

My guy is a huge fitness person gym, hockey, rollerblading etc.. After much IC and contemplation therapist & I have figured out my best way to punish & test him was to be what he didn't want & dare him to stay.

Now we are on a good path & he is so supportive of my journey to lose this weight in my way. He knows not to push just support.

I am hopeful I can get back to my fighting weight

Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
♂ Member
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, I've lost weight, but not in a good way. I had built up a fair amount of bulk, but now my muscles are all gone because I'm not eating enough.

Well, maybe not "all gone." But diminished. I was working out hard to get into a kendo class this fall.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
♀ Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have lost about 15 lbs and H has lost about 25 lbs since the A. We dont plan on gaining back any weight, instead we have tried to make healthier decisions and get into shape. We both love our weight loss, kept it off and love how we feel now. We plan on joining a gym together and are being more active, especially when it comes to our kids. I dont think size is important, its about how you feel and your health. Good luck

BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
♀ Member
Member # 38263
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Initially lost...then gained...then I've sustained an injury that doesn't let me move and I'm terrified of gaining!! I'm,really hard on myself about weight, and I need tone nice to me right now. R is really flipping hard!!!

I choose to thrive. I choose to be happy.

That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger...but damn, aren't I strong enough yet???

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost 35 on the infidelity diet.

I gained 48 with the HB baby pregnancy.

Still trying to lose the last 20 of that.

And HB baby is now 40 pounds (5 1/2 years later )

BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)

Posts: 3631 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm only just under 7 weeks post d-day and am down 15 pounds.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Loving your sense of humor on this post and others JanaGreen! I still love to laugh!!!

HeartInADustpan...thanks for the suggestion....I DO love ice cream sandwiches. (glad I didn't sell my fat jeans!)

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:27 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4027 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
♀ Member
Member # 38763
Default  Posted: 12:37 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've gained 13 lbs since last year. My body does it as soon as the major stress wanes but I'm still in unhappy limbo so it says 'let's pack on a few pounds cuz THAT will make you feel SUPER SEXY while you are struggling with self esteem issues.
It's frustrating because I eat an extremely rigid diet where even my occasional cheats are super clean. Pisses me off but whatever. I need to get my bountiful butt back to the gym but sadly, this gym (which I love) is closely associated in terms of triggers with OW even though they were happy to verify for me that she was no longer going there.

Me: 42 BS
Him: 38 ws
Ow: 44 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 21, 18, 17, 15, 10
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

Posts: 264 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington State
♀ Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 4:57 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pre 'enlightened' I weighed 123- 126 lbs which was good.

Post DDay I fell to 112 at my worst (I am 170 cms tall) and fought to get up to 118 which I kinda loved. My antiD's meant I threw up most days for over 12 months!!

Now? Contentment and being woo'd and enjoying my food without the worry of barfing has seen me rise up to 144 lbs at my worst. I was never that heavy before apart from when I was pregnant!

I am now trying to lose this and am at 135lbs and aiming to lose about a stone.

Why? Because I was most in control of things when I was 118lb and felt SEXY even when FWH was with ow and my life was a mess.

I know that sounds a bit anorexic in thinking but it was true. I could throw anything on and look fab and that, coupled with the fact the exercise I did to ease my stress gave me a Jennifer Nicole lee body silhouette, helped me get through one of the worst, most traumatic episodes I had ever encountered!!

For me? Thin yet muscular and happy is my ideal. I hate the way I currently look!

ETA. I also think there's a subconscious part of me that wanted to get bigger to see if he'd still want me. Messed up or what?

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 4:59 AM, July 26th (Friday)]

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeć

Posts: 1583 | Registered: Jul 2009
♀ Member
Member # 17686
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in the process of losing weight prior to D=day, was down about 30 lbs. After D-day, the weight loss stopped. I kept up with the plan that took the 30 off for two more months, but no loss. I then went back to "normal" eating, no gain, no loss.

over the last 5 years I have lost about 20 more due to upping exercise, but that is it.

I can not eat for a few days, and I do not lose, I can eat whatever I want and not gain.

I am in a serious holding pattern, and still need to lose about 50 lbs.

I believe I gained weight due to stress during the M (that gut feeling I could never prove which caused deep inner turmoil), and the damage caused by 2 decades of non stop stress has not stopped IMO, thankfully I have not gained, but whatever my body needs to lose weight it has not found yet.


We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: how far the east is from the west
♀ Member
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was already working out with a trainer when we separated last year. I lost 30 lbs between working out and the infidelity diet. He says he lost about 10lbs.

THEN, we started dating again. That meant food. "Come to the house and I'll cook dinner." "Let's go out for dinner tonight."

We continued the kids' visitation schedule for the first 2 months of dating. I would get depressed on his overnights. He would spend the day with me and then the 3 of them would leave me to go to his apartment. Ben and Jerry became my best friends!

Once he came home, it got worse. Now, instead of getting up at 5am to work out, all I want to do is lay in the bed in his arms for as long as I can! No more soup/sandwiches/cereal for dinner. Now, it's full blown meals plus desserts! I've gained back the 30 lbs plus 5 more!

I just call it my "so glad to be happy again" weight!

Oh, and Ben and Jerry are his best friends now too! He's gained back about 20 lbs!

Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 792 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
♀ Member
Member # 26854
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost 35 and have gained all that back plus 10. I am not happy about this. I loved my thinner self!

DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
♀ Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Waving hand.....On the I diet I lost about 20 pounds...I probably needed to lose 5. Since I'm a shorty (5'4"), the last 15 turned me into a skeletor, which was not a good thing.

In the last 18 months, I gained back 15 and look normal and healthy....

Two places I'd never like to visit again...the infidelity diet and the death of a parent diet!

Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2010
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I went from 98lbs to 108! :) Hubby gained a few pounds, too. We basically gained from HB what we lost during infidelity diet.

Oh, and I'll take some cheez-its for my midnight snack. And, then get up again, to get seconds. lol.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 12:38 PM, July 29th (Monday)]

Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I dropped 9 lbs within a month of DDay #1.

Today, I'm 20 lbs heavier than that way-too-low-point...

Before the A, my weight was locked in for like 10 years.

Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
Topic Posts: 40
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