I sometimes feel the same way.
Another side thing I am battling with is that I am very intelligent and I've sort of dumb myself down for years, not just with my partner, but with everyone, and in IC he is really making me sort of break out of that and I've realized I am on a totally different level intellectually then my partner.. and a lot of my friends and family too.
I am in such a weird place in my life right now. I feel in such personal chaos.
I am super jealous of other couples with stronger and better relationships. My partners brother has a girlfriend who he has been with for a year and they just moved in together and I am floored at how much he loves her and visa versa..
Same thing with another friend of my partners, this guy was a real jerk and I hated him, kicked him out of my house once, but now.. WOW he found this girl and has to ally changed. There is so much love and respect in that relationship.
I feel a lone all the time. My friends.. who I love very much do not understand and simply tell me to leave him.. I understand it comes out of love but that isn't what I need, you know?
I just want to curl up in a hole and cry... I took an entire week off work last week..called in "sick" so I can't take any more time off.
Sometimes I think I subconsciously keep myself busy all the time so I don't have to deal with stuff but I wear myself ragged.