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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Facebook Restriction and other big changes.
scissorhands
♀ Member
Member # 34831
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I am on a bit of a difficult piece of ground.

Hubby has accepted a friend request from one of his work mates.

My issue with this particular person is that he organized a stripper friend of his to come over and do a show for the guys at camp, the entire crew was thrown out and barred from the camp except my hubby as he told me it was happening and he spent the entire night on the phone to me. (Hubby at that stage worked away from home 4 out of 5 wks).

Now I know in theory I can not tell him what to do with his life. He is an adult but I am not comfortable with him being on the persons friend list and having access to his friend list.

I gave hubby the bad news this morning. I said that I would prefer it if he defriended him. I said I would not have been the only wife, partner and girlfriend hurt by this persons actions or that doesn't agree with their husband accessing stripes. I wasn't hurt because hubby didn't attend but I know that everyone else went and there were issues with wives. This guy is a crew supervisor and my nick name for him is the pimp.

I felt very wrong in some ways but in others I felt it was part of my terms.

I have also made the decision for other reasons as well to resign from my studies, so I am not dependent on hubby to pay for it and keep me for another 2 yrs and wow do I feel suddenly free. (I have another plan B short course to do in the new year which will formally recognize skills I have and I will try to grow them into a business so not all is lost.).

I have not felt so free in years.

Hubby was a bit quiet when he left but dam it, I am entitled to have him respect my wishes on this.


DDay 12/02/2011
WH signed up for sleazy dating sites while working away for a month at a time. Discovered before any physical contact was made.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fwh gave up facebook after I found him searching for his former AP's shortly after Dday. No contact was made, facebook was no a part of his infidelity. However searching for them was clearly an issue.

Facebook was a boundary issue, he needed to delete it, he did.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
BeyondBreaking
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that is a perfectly acceptable thing to tell him.

I know that my stbh is an adult and I'm not his mom to tell him who he can and can't be friends with. At the same time, I too, don't really like him spending a lot of time with people who do not support our relationship and share out values. I find that those people do tend to put him in situations like the one you described (with strippers, or go out to bars and try to pick up women with my stbh there, etc...).

Luckuly stbh doesn't have a fb account and refuses to get one because he doesn't believe in social networking stuff. I am absolutely fine with that.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
scissorhands
♀ Member
Member # 34831
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am leaving in 3 wks for 2 month holiday and leaving him with my tablet.

I put spyware on it yesterday. Felt awful doing it but its peace of mind for me and will show what his real level of commitment is.

So in a way its in his hands.


DDay 12/02/2011
WH signed up for sleazy dating sites while working away for a month at a time. Discovered before any physical contact was made.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WS and I now share a Facebook page, it's a little relief as this time all the flirting was through his Facebook page but the first time was text messages. Of course after that I took control of the cell phones but in the back of my mind I know there's always other ways. *sigh*. I do feel like he's one of the teenagers at times.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
scissorhands
♀ Member
Member # 34831
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I discovered him looking at sexually explicit pics on facebook last night.
Reakons he just followed links on another mates page.

He seems to have a nose for these things.

I am seriously beginning to wonder if I am going to make it in this relationship.


DDay 12/02/2011
WH signed up for sleazy dating sites while working away for a month at a time. Discovered before any physical contact was made.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
scissorhands
♀ Member
Member # 34831
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We do not live in our home country and I am financially dependent on him. He is also paying for my education.

I now that I have made the right decisions about my education. I am gutted but I can now see what I am dealing with and I think he has such serious issues.

For WH sexually explicit photos are gateway drugs for him. I can really see him going back there again.

He said its not porn and wouldn't talk about it last night. I was so calm and not upset.

I am feeling gutted today.


DDay 12/02/2011
WH signed up for sleazy dating sites while working away for a month at a time. Discovered before any physical contact was made.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
Topic Posts: 7

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