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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: This is for the already divorced-or almost divorced
Jayne Doe
♀ Member
Member # 32664
Default  Posted: 12:38 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

6 months into it, and I am wondering if I should fire my attorney....

What is the job of the attorney? Other than file paperwork and send emails to the other attorney and spend all your money? Seriously - at this point, I don't know

Let me be more specific while still being vague.
You say $1000. Stbxh says $500 and won't budge.
Should your attorney say to you that stbx won't budge and this is what you need to do to prove why we say $1000 *OR* should your attorney get on the phone with his attorney and say 'this is WHY we are asking for $1000 and she won't budge."

I thought I hired a shark, but I'm afraid I hired a goldfish.

Can't wait to hear your responses.


Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

Posts: 1454 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Suburbia, Arizona
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Depends what the $1000 is about. If it's about an asset then can you make up the difference with another asset ?

If it's spousal or child support, usually they are based on a formula, needs of a child, and incomes. Not a lot of wiggle room.
One thing I found during the process is pick the battles that you can't have any give on.
I had an estimate in my head, what I wanted to end up with and I ended up with more when we signed. I wanted cash and not so much the actual assets.
I was pro se so I did the filing, calling and talking. I did have to get nasty and showed to the court that our post nup could be easily thrown out for various reasons. FT and his bully attorney were much more willing to give more to me.
If we threw out the post nup, he would have paid all my attorney fees and court costs. Yeah, pick your battles.
If the 1k is something that you have to have then maybe attorney needs to prepare for court. Amazing what is settled before court appearances.
Hugs
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20371 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:34 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gma is correct. This entirely depends on what the dollar figure is about. It also depends on your state, your county, and your judge.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9658 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You could easily blow through $500 or $1000 in attorney's fees trying to fight for a one-time payment of the same amount..

If it's a monthly amount you are talking about, then perhaps it's worth fighting for..

I think a good attorney will tell you which battles to pick..

But as a warning, I wasted $5000 on a goldfish. If you aren't feeling comfortable or feel like they aren't fighting for you, there's no harm in making some calls and going to some consultations. Switching attorneys is the BEST thing I've done in this divorce so far..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2237 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Jayne Doe
♀ Member
Member # 32664
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay - maybe I should have been more specific

It's about the value of our cabin - where he is living now.

The difference is what he found a realtor to say it is worth and the reality of what is worth and that comes to approx 40k.

This is a battle worth fighting. Not only for the money but for taking away part of my life that I loved. Many happy days were spent at that cabin.


Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

Posts: 1454 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Suburbia, Arizona
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gently: divorce is a business transaction, in most states there are no monetary awards for pain and suffering.

The cabin sounds like it represented something emotionally to you. Those memories are priceless and unfortunately don't have a $ value in court. The cabin does, and the discrepancy does need to be negotiated IF there is to be a payout or trade out.

Hugs, You will get thru this.

In all aspects my attorney was a conflict avoidant goldfish - till XH got on the stand and started mocking her. Then she let him take the reins and helped him hang himself.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5067 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For a couple of hundred dollars you could have it assessed by an independent person. I had to do this twice, totally accepted in court.


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1244 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex paid for an appraisal on the house to determine if I should have to buy him out. The appraisal was done by an independent person that both lawyers approved of.
Do this. I am surprised your L isn't suggesting it.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4620 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are losing property also. Even though it is spending money I have to borrow, I think of myself in the future having to reflect back on the decisions of the battle.

Can you get other opinions, Jayne? Nearly ExH and L were very annoyed at me for pushing it, but like you, I have loss to face and if I can make double sure all the T's and I's are correct, I will.

Yes, my attorney is like that too, but I've been also very proud and surprised when he does stand up. His way is to be very quiet about things and the other side is very noisy, the bullies of the field, so I think he is kind of laying low to see what they do and offer. Some of the things nearly Exh tried to take from me are awful and may not matter to court, but matter to me.

I've had to learn that what matters in the legal system isn't always what matters to people...guidelines matter more than feelings and yes, except for property, what can be replaced later may be the quickest way through.

I like your imagery of the shark and goldfish and have thought of the other team in my chapter as an octopus or jellyfish, who reach out and sting when they feel threatened...yet it's them doing the damage and looking foolish.

Also, I wonder if there are any lawyers with free consultations, if you question yours, maybe it's time to look around? I talked to three before "picking" one that showed half a bucket full of empathy.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

An appraisal generally costs between $300- $400. Maybe money worth spending ? Good luck.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 489 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 10

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