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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Call from Dad leaves H crying/humbled
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So if you have been following our story, we just told my parents while we were there on vacay. I am glad we did. H is glad we did. They hugged both of us after H told the story/Dad was unsettled as the days went on (processing). After me, my parents were next in line in terms of being deceived.

Dad called H yesterday on his cell. When it was over, my H sat on the stairs and started to cry. I hugged him and told him it would be okay. I didn't know what Dad said but I knew it wasn't mean-spirited bc he is not like that.

Anyway, between tears he said, "Your Dad is such a wonderful person."

He then expressed a bigger thought: "This man is in his mid-70's. He just wants to know that his daughter and his grandsons are going to be okay. That the next patriarch is going to be there for them." He said, "I never thought of it this way before but it brings yet another element to what I almost ruined." Dad also told him that he believes in us.

I called my dad to say thanks to him and my mom for being supportive w/o giving lectures.

I was so afraid of telling my parents but so happy we did for what they can give us. They have the most life experience, they are level-headed, forgiving people and they see the big picture.

LA


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that was beautiful.

Your Dad sounds like a very very wise man. You are blessed to have him.

I hope your H takes what your Dad said to heart.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dad is wise ppga! Dad has this way when he talks. He has been sober for 35 years now so he is very good at getting to the heart in a very simple but meaningful way. Whenever I have heard him speak at AA meetings it brings tears to my eyes. He sees the good in people and thank goodness someone saw that in him and helped him start his journey as a sober man.

I have not seen my H just plant himself and cry like that in a while and was glad he stayed in the moment. I feel as if my H is on his way to his own type of sobriety.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My dad has had my H in tears several times since Dday. His own dad refuses to talk to him yet mine who has every right to hate him constantly tells him he loves him and believes in him.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel as if my H is on his way to his own type of sobriety.
that's fantastic!

I have posted this before, but thought you and your H might like it:


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14838 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your Dad is a Good Man


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 36972 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks PPGA! I remember a Winston Churchill quote too:

You make a living by what you get. You make a life but what you give.

PrincessPeach: That is so sad that your FIL won't speak to his son. Your FIL might want to tend to his issues and not use the A as a way to disconnect from his own child. Sad.

[This message edited by LA44 at 11:40 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LA44 - my FIL had an A and left his family behind for his new wife. Not only did it totally screw up my H but I truly think he has never ever faced his own responsibility with what happened. I am very much like my own father and H has cried many times over the fact that both my dad and myself have shown him unconditional love when no one else would. I just feel my dad taught me what love is and how to be the best person I can be while his dad taught him nothing. :(


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your H is a blessed man to have you and your Dad standing with him PP06.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5641 | Registered: Aug 2007
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your dad is an amazing man. It sounds like your H took it to heart and has a new perspective on how to look at R.

Posts: 34751 | Registered: Mar 2011
knightsbff
♀ Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow... I'm so happy for you and your WH to have such great support. It's wonderful that you are able to shares joys and sorrows with those that mean the most to you.


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LA,

So happy to hear about this with your H. Often times it is hearing something from someone we respect that has the most impact of all. I am glad to hear you guys are doing better.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4766 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
Topic Posts: 14

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