How can I forgive you is the book.
I have been having some hope.
today he did nothing, nothing.
tonight I asked to read he said no he is going to be lazy.
this is after me telling him this morning how much this means to me. How looking forward to this gets me through my days. how I want him to initiate the reading.
right now I am so angry I feel like I am going to expolode!!! I actually threw a pot outside and smashed it.
I have been holding so much in trying to be so careful.
doesn't he see how he hurts me? Doesn't he care?
He knows right now how upset I am and he walked away and is watching tv.
It is almost a year since this crap started.
I want effort or I want to give up. I feel like I cant take this pain anymore.
tonight I just want to run away.
I hate this, I hate that I feel so much pain. I hate that I am not his first priority, I hate that he can still hurt me.
I don't want to cry anymore, please
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie
why should I expect more?
I am a fool, he is showing me how he feels.
showing who he is.
I just cant continue to wait for him to be ready, it is killing me.
..have you tried the 180 during this year of R?
..have you talked to a lawyer about anything?
..protect yourself, communicate your true feelings to him about your expectations.. and be prepared to make the tough decision if he doesn't pull his weight in this R..
..maybe he doesn't think you'll really do anything..
..sending hope that you find true love and peace.
I am shaking, heart palps.
he has the nerve to ask me if this is any way for me to behave!
I have tried to be so very patient giving him time.
I have never felt like this before, I never get angry.
I want to tell him but I cant get the words out.
Maybe something like, if you are serious about this, if you really want this marriage to survive, you need to prove it to me. I am done trying to push you. its on you now, either make the effort or leave.
it sounds harsh but that is how I feel.
actually I feel worse, I feel like screaming and smashing things.
[This message edited by rachelc at 7:56 PM, July 27th (Saturday)]
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...
Because I am worth FAR more than those devices.
You want to be lazy? Well HELL, I WANT TO BE HEALED! You want to be lazy, then haul your lazy ass outside and sit under the stars. Because if you're too lazy to do WHAT YOU PROMISED to help me heal, something that you SAID was helping US, then you can GTFO and watch the lint in your navel multiply under the tree in the front yard.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
if you are serious about this, if you really want this marriage to survive, you need to prove it to me. I am done trying to push you. its on you now, either make the effort or leave.
..it sounds harsh
..sorry,.... NOT HARSH ENOUGH!
..he needs a serious dose of "upside the head" to get the f off the couch and give you the respect and devotion and attention and love you so deserve, if you are 'willing' to stay with this guy!
..stand tall, be strong and lay it flat on the line for him.
..there is no room for"LAZY" in a marriage ..if it is to survive.
sorry you have a WH, especially a LAZY one!