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Newest Member: janedivided (44684)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Finally asking for help
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What does this entail? I have handled most of the hailstorm by myself. I cannot get out of this house without help. Do I email my family and friends? Overwhelmed!!

I can no longer pay to get some help. The ex is useless.

I am falling on the sword.
How does one beg for help without looking pathetic?


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1618 | Registered: Mar 2004
hurtfornow
♀ New Member
Member # 35757
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the hardest pills to swallow is, PRIDE. But you are going to have to swallow your pride. It was one of the hardest parts of going through the divorce.

But I learned who my real friends and family are. Hang in there. It gets better, I promise. (((risingfromashes))).


Posts: 43 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Florida
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just ask. My mom, her husband and my brother were happy to help. I was financially able to do something nice for my Mom/husband and will probably do something to thank my brother too but really, they are family and I just had to ask.

Posts: 1654 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what your parent's financials look like but my Aunt and Uncle helped my cousin years ago after her second divorce.
She wanted to go back to school, work part-time, and she had two young kids.

Even with all her grants and low interest loans, she barely was making it.

My Aunt and Uncle gave her some of her inheritance over a five year period. her two sisters know that she will get less than them after the parents die.
It wasn't a huge amount but enough to make a difference. Cousin didn't have to repay since it was going to be her inheritance.

It doesn't hurt to ask for help to move forward.
I know I would help my kids anyway I could.

My DD was a single Mom with no help from GS's biodad. I babysat full time for 8 yrs for her. She provided extra food and the diapers. She was able to buy a much better car and her own condo. I'm so happy I was in a position to help back then. That's what my family does for each other.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a chance to be happy again.

Posts: 20356 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If the shoe was on the other foot would you think the person asking you for help was "pathetic"? Probably not, right? You aren't either. We all, every last one of us, needs help at some time. Ask. People do like to help, they really do...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3081 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What kind of help do you need? Practically speaking?


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2585 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not begging - it's asking, reaching out.

I did a lot on my own for those first few months. When I finally did reach out everyone was so thrilled that I was finally open to the help they all so desperately wanted to give.

You may find yourself in the same boat.

I'd talk to them and ask them of they could help you move as you are doing it yourself. People are far more willing/understanding than we give them credit for.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5532 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep packing and then find more that I have to pack. I am downsizing to less than half the space. I am supposed to keep the lawn pristine. If only it would stop raining followed by sunshine! The weeds are thriving
Just don't tell me to make the EX step up...If that could work I might still be married to the SOB.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1618 | Registered: Mar 2004
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Packing really is a dreadful task. I had to ask for help with that too, and you know what? People said yes.

When do you move?


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2585 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 9

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