He meets with a psych for depression/anxiety meds, but that's not the same as IC. Right now, he's being weaned off Wellbutrin, the companion to his Zoloft, because the psych thinks the most important thing for his SA is to decrease his libido. Of course, that doesn't help the flattening of his depression and his generally "meh" outlook on life.
An IC would be 45 minutes away from us because that's where the SA ICs are located. He's willing but it's just too far away to make it happen. He wants to have the IC in town with someone less specialized but who is actually reasonable to contact. I get that.
I think the A was "good" for him because he liked the feeling of being in that fantasy. I think he liked the twitterpation. I worry that he'll seek it out again although he says he realizes now that it was a fantasy. That took awhile.
She has been outed, both times, to her husband. After her first A, she was excommunicated from her church. After her second, well, they're still together and I just saw a FB photo (yes, I stalk) of them happily smiling for the camera.
We've both been tested, now, for STDs. We're both clean. He didn't use protection with her OR with the prostitute. He was in complete freefall then, emotionally, because the OW had dropped him!!! So he went off the deep end. I'm not justifying. I think I'm still in shock somewhat that he would endanger me so much.
I really want to save my marriage. There's a good man in there that I'd like to keep. But it's looking more and more like he's not going where I'm going. It feels primarily one-sided. The glimpses of goodness he gives me are what keeps me hoping.
I do go to IC. My therapist doesn't much like him. She's good for me, though. I DO listen to her. She's a godsend, actually, because she's charged me nothing all year long. We changed insurances and she's no longer covered under our new policy, but when all this came out back in Oct/Nov, she said she--as a medical professional--couldn't let me deal with it on my own. So I have that going for me. It makes me feel guilty, but it makes me feel grateful, too.
I'll re-read the 180 stuff. Not sure how to make it work. Afraid to try it. :(